Bài IELTS Task 2 ngày 21/3 [closed]

Question

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is quite common for these days that parents should let their children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school instead of secondary school. Although there is controversy between exponents and protesters, i still agree with point of view that children should begin learning a foreign language at primary school. Bellow, i will give some of my reasons to expound my position.

First of all, many evidents proved by scientists is that they will be more flexible with foreign language if they are given chance to learn early. The marjority of children are curious, they have motivation to remain stationary to watch the whole of a cartoon although they don't understand any word which characters are saying, which makes brain more sensitive passively to a new language. They will respond quickly when learning language, especially listenning skill.

Secondly, a child who learns foreign language early, he will have more chance to develop himself in the future. There are so many competions today relating to english or another language with many amazing opportuinites such as: scholarship or money prize, which is so great for their attempt. Besides, they will can be accessible to new material without waiting for transalation.

However there are a lot of worrying issues that the mix between 2 language will make a mess for children's brain, they will forget mother tongue and use words which are so eclusive that the parents can't understand. They even call their teacher to ask for help, which is a little funny. Although this case happens everywhere, it is not worth worrying because there is always method or way to solve this problem.

Finally, in my personal view, the parents should register certain course relating to foreign language, which not only helps children to have ability communication early but also helps them have a right perspective of social world without difficulity of language.

Very thankful for your help, i wish receive feed back from you soon. Thank you.

Answer 1

It is quite common for these days (theo mình nên viết These days lên đầu sẽ hay hơn: These day, it is quite common that) that parents should let their children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school instead of secondary school. Although there is controversy between exponents and protesters, i (I lúc nào cũng viết hoa nhé) still agree with point of view that children should begin learning a foreign language at primary school. Bellow, i (I) will give some of my reasons to expound my position. (Câu này không cần lắm nha)

First of all, many evidents (evidence là Uncountable noun nha bạn, evident là tính từ: there is scientific evidence that) proved by scientists is that they will be (children would more flexible with foreign language if they are given chance to learn early (or; If they get familiar with it early). The marjority of children (kids) are curious, (because) they have motivation to remain stationary to watch the whole of a cartoon although they don't understand any word which characters are saying, which makes brain more sensitive passively to a new language. They will respond quickly when learning language, especially listenning skill. (chỗ này mình không hiểu ý bạn lắm)

Secondly, a child who learns foreign language early, he will have more chance to develop himself in the future (the earrly children begin to learn a new language the more chance he would develope in the future). There are so many competions today relating to english (English) or another language with many amazing opportuinites such as: scholarship or money prize, which is (are) so great for their attempt. Besides, they will can (can hoặc will thôi nha bạn, không thì could hoặc would nhé) be accessible to new material without waiting for transalation.

 

However there are a lot of worrying issues that the mix between 2 language (two languages) will make a mess for children's brain, they will forget mother tongue and use words which are so eclusive that the parents can't understand. They even call their teacher to ask for help, which is a little funny (?). Although this case happens everywhere, it is not worth worrying because there is always method or way to solve this problem.

Finally, in my personal view,(In conclusion,) the parents should register certain course(s) relating to foreign language, which not only helps children to have ability communication early but also helps them have a right perspective of social world without difficulity of language.

Một số góp ý của mình:

+ Bạn nên viết khoảng 4 đoạn cho cả essay của mình thôi nhé (1 đoạn cho intro, 2 đoạn cho body và 1 đoạn cho conclusion). Phần body, bạn nên viết khoảng 4- 5 câu và cho thêm ví dụ để support cho idea của bạn.

+ Phần Conclusion, bạn nên summarize key points rồi với nêu lên quan điểm của bạn một lần nữa nhé.

Nếu thấy cmt mình ổn thì cho mình biết nhé!

Answer 2

It is quite common for these days that parents should let their children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school instead of secondary school. Although there is controversy between exponents and protesters, i   ( "I" viết hoa nhé ) still agree with point ( the point ) of view that children should begin learning a foreign language at primary school. Bellow, i will give some of my reasons to expound my position.

First of all, many evidents ( "evident " là adj , phải sửa là " much evidence" N ko đếm được nên là much) proved by scientists is that they will be more flexible with foreign language ( thêm s ) if they are given chance to learn early. The marjority (majority ) of children are curious, they have motivation ( the motivation ) to remain stationary to watch the whole of a cartoon although they don't understand any word which characters are saying, which makes brain ( the ) more sensitive passively to a new language. They will respond quickly when learning language (a ), especially listenning skill. ( listening skills )

Secondly, a child who learns (a) foreign language early, he will have more chance to develop himself in the future. There are so many competions (cpmpetitions) today relating to english or another language with many amazing opportuinites (opportunities) such as: scholarship or money prize, which is so great for their attempt. Besides, they will can be accessible to new material without waiting for transalation. (translation)

However there are a lot of worrying issues that the mix between 2( writing hạn chế viết số kiểu này nhé )  language(s) will make a mess for children's brain, they will forget their mother tongue and use words which are so e(x)clusive that the parents can't understand. They even call their teacher to ask for help, which is a little funny. Although this case happens everywhere, it is not worth worrying because there is always (a)method or (a )way to solve this problem.

Finally, in my personal view, the parents should register certainly course(s) relating to (a) foreign language, which not only helps children to have (an) ability communication (to communicate) early but also helps them have (the) right perspective of social world without difficulity(difficulty) of language.

 

p/s : mình sửa sai chỗ nào mong bạn thông cảm nhé. Các cấu trúc bạn dùng khá tôts và đúng, mình sẽ học tập bạn ^^ Good luck

Comments

so thankful for your help. <3