IELTS task 2 ( 23/1)- IDP Hanoi

Question

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspapers will ramain the most important source of news for the majority of people.

        Today, due to the advantages and the development òf technology,the Internet becomes one of the main source for readers to get information.So from my point of this view, I absolutely disagree that newspapers will maintain the most important source of news for human

        Firstly of all, it is extremely obvious that in the modern life, the processing of making and publishing a newspaper are more expensive and slower than reading news on the Internet. The information from the Internet is often free, the raeders is not essential to pay for reading and  update day by day. Meanwhile, to publish a newspaper or a magazine , newspaper offices need to have a printed license from the authority which is a complicated processing so it might waste a long priod and a large of money so the news easily become tardy or there might be some changes.

        Futhermore, raw meterials made newspapers or  magazines are completely harmful for environment because human necessarily cut down trees and effect nagatively on animals’ life to have raw meterials for producing printed paper and ink. This is the reason why the numbers of newspaper readers is decreasing day by day and newspaper become less popular. Besides, the increase of readers who seek knowledge through the Internet is a huge support for the deverlopment of technology and encourage the scientists invent more and more modern tools to benefit human.

        Even checking the correct if the information on the Internet is qite difficult and the website managers or bloggers are not as professional as journalists. But in the future, it is persuasive that there will be smart applications to help readers to have the most reliable information.

        To sum up, I strongly believe that searching or seeking knowedge from the Internet will take place of newspapers or magazines and the Internet will be the most valuable source.

        

Answer 1

Bạn còn sai nhiều lỗi chính tả quá, mình sẽ highline các chỗ bị sai chính tả của bạn để bạn dễ nhận ra và chỉnh sửa nhé:

 

 Today, due to the advantages and the development òf of technology,the Internet becomes one of the main source for readers to get information.So from my point of this view, I absolutely disagree that newspapers will maintain the most important source of news for human

        Firstly of all, it is extremely obvious dùng từ ngữ khẳng định quá thì giám khảo sẽ thấy bài của bạn không logicthat in the modern life, the processing of making and publishing a newspaper are more expensive and slower than reading news on the Internet Hai vế trong câu vừa rồi đâu có so sánh được. The information from the Internet is often free, the raeders is not essential to pay for reading and  update day by day. Meanwhile, to publish a newspaper or a magazine , newspaper offices need to have a printed license from the authority, Tách câu này ra nha bạn.which is a complicated processing so it might waste a long priod and a large of money so the news easily become tardy or there might be some changes.

        Futhermore, raw meterials made newspapers or  magazines are completely harmful for environment because human necessarily cut down trees and effect nagatively on animals’ life to have raw meterials for producing printed paper and ink đoạn này không cần thiết nha bạn, bị lặp từ nữa. This is the reason why the numbers of newspaper readers is decreasing day by day and newspaper become less popular. Besides, the increase of readers who seek knowledge through the Internet is a huge support for the deverlopment of technology and encourage the scientists invent more and more modern tools to benefit human. nguyên đoạn này mình không hiểu luôn.

        Even, nên sử dụng however checking the correct if the information on the Internet is qite quitedifficult and the website managers or bloggers are not as professional as journalists. But in the future, it is persuasive that there will be smart applications to help readers to have the most reliable information.

        To sum up, I strongly believe that searching or seeking knowedge from the Internet will take place of newspapers or magazines mình không hiểu and the Internet will be the most valuable source.

Wish you best of luck, and if I am wrong, please correct me. :V

Answer 2

Trước tiên mình rất cám ơn bạn,mình mới học viết nên về ngữ pháp và chính tả còn nhiều lỗi sai quá.

Câu :"Besides, the increase of readers who seek knowledge through the Internet is a huge support for the deverlopment of technology and encourage the scientists invent more and more modern tools to benefit human" ý của mình ở đây là số lượng người đọc trên internet tăng sẽ mang lại  lợi ích là động lực cho các nhà khoa học phát minh ra nhiều công cụ kĩ thuật tiến bộ hơn nữa để phục vụ cho con người. Chắc do cách viết còn lủng củng đúng không bạn?

take place : mình dùng mang nghĩa là thay thế,ko biết có ổn không bạn? Rất mong bạn góp ý cho bài mình nhé!

Cám ơn !

Answer 3

Today, due to thannks to the advantages and the development òf technology,the Internet has becomes one of the main source for readers to get information.So from my point of this view, I absolutely disagree that newspapers will maintain as the most important source of news for human. ( ở phần này bạn nên mention cả newspaper nữa, chứ đùng phát đang nói về internet banj lại bảo là disagree với newspaper)

        Firstly of all, it is extremely obvious that in the modern life, the processing of making and publishing a newspaper are more expensive and slower than reading news on the Internet. Futhermore, The information from the Internet is often free so the  readers raeders is not essential don't have to pay for reading and  updating e day by day. Meanwhile, to publish a newspaper or a magazine , newspaper offices need to have a printed license from the authority which is a complicated processing so and  it might waste take  a long priod time and a large sum of money so . As a result, the news easily become tardy or there might be some changes. 

        Futhermore, raw meterials used to madke newspapers or  magazines are completely harmful for to  natural environment because human necessarily cut down trees  to have raw meterials for producing printed paper and ink, thus it is likely to have  and negative effects nagatively on animals’ life to  have raw meterials for producing printed paper and ink. This is the reason why the numbers of newspaper readers is decreasing day by day and newspaper is becoming  become less popular. Besides, the increase of readers who seek knowledge through via the Internet is a huge support for the deverlopment of technology and encourage the scientists to invent more and more modern advanced tools to benefit human's well-being

        Even However, checking the correct accuracy if the information on the Internet is qite difficult and the website managers or bloggers are not as professional as journalists. But in the future, it is persuasive that there will be smart applications to help readers to have the most reliable information.

        To sum up, I strongly believe that searching or seeking knowedge from the Internet will take place over  of newspapers or and  magazines and the Internet will be the most valuable source.

 

Comments

cám ơn bạn rất nhiều ! lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng của mình còn nhiều quá, theo bạn thì nếu xét trên từng tiêu chí thì được khoảng bao nhiêu điểm ?

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Do Introductio cua ban chua  đầy đủ nên sẽ bị trừ điểm. Some good points nhưng luận điểm ko clear lắm và còn khá lủng củng. Câu trúc câu không rõ ràng. Mình nghĩ se tầm 5.5