Bài IELTS Task 1 có 2 charts

Question

 

 

(168 words)

The first chart illustrates the reasons why mature people decide to study and the pie chart describes how they think the costs of adult education should be shared. In general, interest in subject is the main reason to study something new and individual should pay the most for the costs of each course.

By accounting for 40%, interest in subject confirms the leading reason in decision of grown people, followed by the purpose that they want to gain qualifications with 38%. 22% adults think the new education will be helpful for current job and 20% is the common ratio of two reasons which are improving prospects of promotion and enjoy studying. The reasons with the lowest proportion are to able to change jobs and to meet people with 12% and 9% correspondingly.

In the survey, people think 40% the costs of each class should be shared by individual. Besides, employers who they work for ought to pay 35% and taxpayers can contribute 25% the expenses of each one.

Answer 1

Helllo Hoang Hai,

Thank you for your compliment and sorry for late response. I've been busy recently. After reading through your essay, I find it coherent and error-free. Good job!

I only have one comment in the introduction because I think you should divide this paragragh into two smaller paragraphes. It is very important to have a good overview/summary. By putting these sentences in one paragraph only makes it long introductiong and lacks of overview (you may lose score for this).

Your essay is easy to understand; however, if you want higher mark (6.5 over), I think you need to improve your vocabulary and flexibity of word choices since there are noticeably repetition of words. For example, the reasons of selecting subjects are repeated exactly as shown on the diagrams.

Best regards,

David.

Comments

Cảm ơn bạn nhiều thật nhiều vì đã góp ý, ko ngờ bạn trả lời nhanh như vậy :))

Mình đang tự học, mà mình thấy các bài mẫu đoạn mở đầu toàn viết thành 1 đoạn như vậy nên mình cũng hay làm như vậy.

Đúng là phần vocab của mình giờ đang rất yếu, mình sẽ cố gắng cải thiện hơn.

Mình có đăng 1 số bài khác nhờ chữa, nếu bạn có thời gian thì chữa giùm mình với nhe.

Thực lòng cảm ơn bạn rất rất nhiều.

Answer 2

Mình là thành viên mới , tự hoc ở nhà, hi vọng mọi người có thể giúp mình....hihi..!! 

154 words

 

The charts ilustrated the reasons Why adult wanted to learn and how much money of each course may be separated.

At first glance, the main reason was enjoyed in subject influenced this decision and the highest money for individual of each course.

Interesting in subject accounted for 40%, this number was very similar the number of adult studied to gain qualifications, 38%. And a large number of adult decided to study because of helping their job, 22%. Although, a significant proportion, 20%, interestingly, having two reasons affected this decision were improve position in their company and enjoy learning. 12% was the precentage of mature people needed to change jobs. However,  surprisingly, only a small minority, 9% the mature people learnt to meet stranger one.

Amount of money of each course will be shared into 3 parts. The highest was sending for a person or group operation.Then, the rest of money divided to pay tax and leader or CEO, at 25% and 35%.  

Comments

Bạn ơi, đây là bài viết mới của bạn thì bạn nên viết thành 1 post mới để nhiều người thấy và nhận xét giúp bạn. Bạn post lại thành bài mới đi, làm vậy sẽ tiện hơn