Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face –to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone calls.
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Information exchange has played an important part in our daily life these days. However, it is sometimes argued that whether face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, email, or telephone class or not. While I agree that exchanging information directly brings us much benefit, modern technologies such as email or telephone are equally convenient.

   

On the one hand, it is said that face-to-face conversation is really significant in our daily life for some reasons. Firstly, its popularity has made human beings exchange information with each other so that they can exist on this planet. Secondly, by using this form of communication, we can do some work which can not be solved indirectly, signing a contract is a good example of this. Also, problems which make people feel dissatisfactory could be solved directly by basing on specific situations. Direct communication, therefore, is considered to be an essential part in our daily activities,  

 

On the other hand, I believe that it is modern technologies, such as email or telephone that have brought the same advantages to human beings. One of the undeniable benefits is that people can make conversation easily regardless of the distance wherever they are living. For example, by using software Skype or Zalo installed on the telephone, I have contacted with my younger brother who are living half the world away without paying extra money. Furthermore, using emails would be very convenient and saves a lot of time. In my school, for instance, we used to spend half a day holding the meeting to announce the monthly plans. However, we can now open the personal email to see the same information at home without needing to have such a meeting.

   

By way of conclusion, I once again restate that although both face-to-face communication and indirect conversation have met the basic needs in our daily life, I personally believe that the means of communication such as letters, emails, or telephone calls have more conveniences.

 

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Bài viết quá dài 329 từ :| rút xuống 270 thôi nhé..
coherence and coherence
1. mở bài của bạn theo ý equally convinient ma kết luận bạn lại viết khác (là more)
2. While I agree that exchanging information directly brings us much benefit, modern technologies such as email or telephone are equally convenient.
-> while exchanging information ..., I agree that ...
3. solved indirectly, signing --> sai ở dấu ' --> dùng ", and"
 
grammar
1. these days: thuong dung hien tai
2. email or telephone class -> telephone calls
3. software Skype or Zalo -> software like Skype or Zalo
4. living half the world away -> living away from half the world
5. saves a lot -> save a lot
6. installed on the telephone -> thay on = in
 
vocabulary
1. made human beings exchange information --> ko nên dùng made ở trường hợp này, nên dùng allow
2. make people feel dissatisfactory (khiến không hài lòng) --> dissatisfaction (không hài lòng)
3. could be solved directly by basing on --> bỏ basing on
4. the distance wherever -> bỏ the distance 
5. paying extra money -> thường extra money là tiền thưởng thêm, nên dùng paying more money
 
 
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Bạn shape lại bài một chút còn khoảng <= 300 từ nhé, cùng lắm nhỉnh hơn chút xíu thôi.

 

Câu mở bài phần thesis statement cũng cần chỉnh lại ngay sắp xếp từ vựng ngữ pháp nhé không bị giám khảo trừ điểm ngay đấy ;)

 

Tu Pham IPP

 

 

(this part is to ensure that the range of at least 300 characters is reached. Please do not treat it as a part of the comment. Sometimes, shorter comments are not necessarily the bad ones, as they provide essential information)

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