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NOWADAYS THE WAY MANY PEOPLE INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER HAS CHANGED BECAUSE OF TECHNOLOGY.

IN WHAT WAYS HAS AFFECTED THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS PEOPLE MAKE?

HAS THIS BECOME A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

 

In the modern world, high technology has brought significant changes in the way people communicate with each other. They are both advantages and disadvantages affecting the relationships people make.

On the one hand, it is undeniable fact that there is a great deal of beneficial impact on the way humans interact. First of all, high-tech create a golden chance for people to make friends all over the world, which can help them improve and develop English skills via numerous apps such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Messenger, and so on. Besides, it can promote cultural interchange among countries without traveling. Second, using social networks to connect can help save time and money. A good example of this is that in the past if you want to transform important information to friends or loved ones in another country, you must use letters written by hand and must wait for a long time. But, nowadays, people have just clicked on the bottom to send an email.

On the other hand, there are plenty of drawbacks that the internet brings to relationship development. Excessive use of virtual connections might weaken the personal relationship with reality. Some people who are addicted to the internet can fasten their eyes on the screen from dusk still dawn. This can result in some mental healths such as insomnia and depression. It is hard for them to integrate into the social environment. Thus, it will decrease their self-confidence to speak in public. Last but not least, making friends through the internet may be cheated on both money and love.

In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks that technology brings to the relationship between people. But I think the advantages are twofold. Each individual must have a sense of your own responsibility to be not affected too much by the social networks.

Please help me by checking my essay. THANK YOU
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In the modern world, high technology has brought significant changes in the way people communicate with each other. They are both advantages and disadvantages affecting the relationships people make.

On the one hand, it is undeniable fact that there is a great deal of a variety of beneficial impacts on the way humans interact. First of all, high-tech has created a golden chance for people to make friends all over the world, which can help them improve and develop English skills via numerous apps such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Messenger, and so on. Besides, it can promote cultural interchange among countries without traveling. Second, using social networks to connect can help save time and money. A good example of this is that in the past if you want to transform important information to your friends or loved ones in another country/other countries , you must use letters written by hand hand-writing letters and must wait for a long time. But, nowadays,however,  people have just need to click on the bottom to send an email.

On the other hand, there are plenty of drawbacks that the internet brings to relationship development. Excessive use of virtual connections might weaken the personal relationships with in reality. Some people who are addicted to the internet can fasten their eyes on the screen from dusk still dawn. This can result in some mental healths such as insomnia and depression. It is hard for them to integrate into the social environment. Thus, it will decrease their self-confidence to speak in public. Last but not least, making friends through the internet may be cheated on both money and love.

In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks that technology brings to the relationship between people. But I think the advantages are twofold. Each individual must have a sense of your own responsibility to be not affected too much by the social networks.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý cách đây bởi (6 điểm)
Note: đây chỉ là ý kiến cá nhân của mình thiu nha

- Ideas khá ổn

- Bố cục cân đối và hợp lý

- Các câu còn ngắn và hơi lủng củng đặc biệt ở body 2. Mình nghĩ bạn nên dùng thêm linking words hoặc ghép 2 câu nội dung tương ứng thành 1 để câu nghe mượt hơn.

Một lần nữa là đây chỉ là ý kiến cá nhân của mình. Chúc bạn học tốt nha!!

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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