Many people argue that parents should undertake parenting courses in order to raise their children in the best way. In my point of view, although I agree that those courses will be very helpful in children teaching, parents should be free to make a decision whether to choose these or not.
On the one hand, these courses for parents will equip them parents with essential skills to raise their kids. Nowadays, the action of hitting kids as punishments when they do something wrong is still popular in many families’ way of teaching. This will do more harm than good, affecting to the kids’ physical and mental health. Futhermore, as being put big strain on under high pressure, parents are more bad-tempered and hitting children will increase in frequency. Attending parenting courses will show the pros and cons of this way of teaching and provide fathers and mothers with another way that change their kid to a better person without using violence. In addition, parenting courses can provide knowledge about nutrition and many other fields in child- caring which parents can apply to their children, ensuring the best development for them.
However, it is also true that parenting is an innate skill that every mother and father can naturally have once they have a child. For example, many parents instinctively know what is the best for their sons or daughters. They know the best method to develop their kids, not depending on words theorical lessons from parenting courses. Additionally, teaching methods from courses may not be always true in regard of culture differences, etc. Lastly, many people will consider it ridiculous that people should be forced and attend parenting courses as they should be free to have have the right to make their own choice.
In conclusion, we can not deny that these parenting courses could provide beneficial outcomes for both parents and children, but it is also necessary that parents have the rights to make their own decision whether to participate in or not.
Some of my comments:
- You have implemented some relatively clear and reasonable ideas. There are some notes that I have marked so that you can pay attention and refer to improve your next essay.
- You should learn more collocations to include in your essay, this can help you improve your band score as well as express your opinion more clearly.
- You can try using conjunctions to make more compound sentences.
Overall, you have done well, hope my comments can help you!