“The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school.’’ To what extend do you agree or disagree and why?

Question

Education plays a very important role in human life. It influences personality, behaviors and develop knowledge. Nowadays, we almost receive education from schools with many levels and from family. Both of them are significant. But in my point of view, I totally think that education from family is more important than education we get from school. There are many reasons to prove this opinion.

Firstly, children listen to their parents. Children have to do what their parents ask in order to become a well-behaved people, helpful resident. Parents give their children advice for not making mistake so as to give them on track. If a child lives with irresponsible family, the carelessness will develop a bad child and likely become criminal in future.

Secondly, children are in the habit of aping the grown-ups, who meet them every day. It shaped their gestures, actions, thoughts and speech. Good parents will grow a well-behaved children and conversely, naughty child is grown in an unhealthy family. For instance, if their parent act impolitely with others, the children will think that as a matter of course and redo it to another people.

Finally, family have more time to communicate with children more than teachers or coaches, who only meet them for hours. If the children have any problem in normal life, parents can cheer them up, share the joyfulness and give them advice to do or not to do something. Moreover, family can observe the change of character and fix it immediately before it being unhealthy or illegal.

To sum up, education in family is significant and it can’t be denied that children should have a positive family environment to develop good personality. George Washington a man who ruled American once said that the greatest teacher he ever had was his mother. Family is a very necessary contribution to education.

 

Answer 1

Education plays a very important role in human life. It since it influences personality, behaviors and develop develops knowledge. Nowadays, we (informal) People usualy almost receive education from schools with many levels and from family schools and family. Both of them are significant. But Although two of them are significant, in my point of view, I totally think that education from family is more important than education we get from school. There are  because of many reasons to prove this opinion.

Firstly, children listen to their parents. Children have to do what their parents ask in order to become a well-behaved people and helpful resident. Parents give their children advice for not making making no mistake so as to give them on track. If a child lives with an irresponsible family, the carelessness will develop lead to a bad child and likely become criminal in future.

Secondly, children are in the habit of aping the grown-ups, who meet them every day. It shaped their gestures, actions, thoughts and speech. Good parents will grow a well-behaved children and conversely, naughty child is grown in an unhealthy family. For instance, if their parent parents act impolitely with others, the children will think that as a matter of course and redo it to another people another person.

Finally, family family members have more time to communicate with children each other more than teachers or coaches, who only meet them their students for hours. If the children have any problem in normal life, parents can cheer them up, share the joyfulness and give them advice to do or not to do something. Moreover, family can observe the change of character and fix it immediately before it being becomes unhealthy or illegal.

 

To sum up, education in family is more significant and it can’t (informal) be denied that children should have a positive family environment to develop good personality. George Washington, a man who ruled American once said that the greatest teacher he ever had was his mother. Family is a very necessary contribution to education.

Mình đã chữa những lỗi cơ bản bên trên cho bạn theo trình độ hiện tại bạn thể hiện trong essay, đa số các lỗi bạn mắc đều là:

- Lặp từ nhiều. Bạn nên dùng từ điển để tìm được nhiều từ vựng cùng nghĩa, trái nghĩa hơn

- Ngôn ngữ informal. Một số từ của bạn chưa được formal cho lắm, chẳng hạn như viết tắt, hoặc dùng we, I ....

- Cấu trúc câu chưa đa dạng. Bạn cố gắng dùng thêm nhiều từ nối để kết hợp thành câu ghép, câu phức hoặc các cấu trúc khác (bị động, câu điều kiện ...) cho bài văn bớt đơn điệu hơn nhé.

Chúc bạn học tốt.

Answer 2

Education plays a very important role in human life. It influences on personality, behaviors and develop gaining/acquiring knowledge. Nowadays, we almost receive education from schools with many levels and from family, both of which Both of them are significant. But in my point of view, I totally think that education from family is more important than (education we get) from school. There are many reasons to prove this opinion.

Firstly, children listen to their parents. Children have to do what their parents ask in order to become a well-behaved people and helpful residents. Parents give their children advice for advice to help their children not make mistakes so as to give them on track (dùng sai idiom, be on track). If a child lives with an irresponsible family, the carelessness(???) will develop a bad child and likely become criminal in future.

Secondly, children are in the habit of aping (ape nghĩa là bắt chước cho vui, kiểu để chọc quê ai và là từ informal) the grown-ups (không có dấu phẩy) who meet them every day. It shaped shapes their gestures, actions, thoughts and speech (the way how to express thought, behave and communicate). Good parents will grow (dùng sai từ) a well-behaved children and conversely, naughty child is grown up in an unhealthy family. For instance, if their parents act behave impolitely with towards others, the children will think that as a matter of course and redo it (nên diễn đạt lại bằng cách khác)(to another other people).

Finally, family parents have more time to communicate with children more than teachers or coaches (không có dấu phẩy) who only meet them for hours. If the children have any problems in normal life, parents can cheer them up, share the joyfulness and give them advice to do or not to do something on which they should do. Moreover, family can observe the changes of in character personality and fix it immediately before it being becomes unhealthy or illegal (dùng từ không thích hợp).

To sum up, education in family is significant and it can’t (không viết tắt) be denied that children should have a positive family environment to develop good personality. George Washington a man, who ruled American, once said that the greatest teacher he had ever had was his mother. Family is a very necessary contribution to education.