Đề thi IELTS 27/9 In some countries, the number of people choosing to live by themselves is increasing rapidly in recent years. Why is this the case? Is this a positive and negative development for society?
closed by
13,987 views
0 votes
0 votes
closed with the note: date :)

Đây là topic được mở ra hàng tuần trên forums Chữa Writing miễn phí. Trong topic này, các bạn sẽ cùng viết và cùng chữa đề ielts task 2 vừa được thi trong tuần.

Luật của Top:

- Mỗi bạn sẽ post bài viết của mình lên dưới dạng góp ý (+2 point cho mỗi bài viết).
- Các bạn sẽ cùng viết, vote và nhận xét bài lẫn nhau trong Topic này.
- Bài viết nào được vote nhiều nhất sẽ được chọn làm bài viết hay nhất (+4 point).
 

Nếu đây là lần đầu, hoặc lần 2 bạn đến với topic này, vui lòng đọc kỹ hướng dẫn phía dưới.

Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

Step 1: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài lên. 

Step 2: Đọc qua tất cả các bài đã được post lên 1 lượt, vote  cho bài viết bạn cho là viết hay nhất. (đây là cách chúng ta tìm ra bài viết hay nhất trong tuần :)

Step 3: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác

Topic IELTS của  tuần này 27/9:

In some countries, the number of people choosing to live by themselves is increasing rapidly in recent years. Why is this the case? Is this a positive and negative development for society?

Mọi người cuối tuần vui vẻ nha :)

#mod Andy.

closed by
by
177 points

6 Answers

4 votes
4 votes

In these days, society has witnessed a large proportion of people who decide to live on their own. This is, however, a common phenomenon in diverse cultures such as Japan, America, and Britain. To my way of thinking, there are two main reasons for this present situation, which will be discussed later. Although there will undoubtedly be a few positive consequences, society should take steps to mitigate this problem.

 

Now that the living standard improves dramatically, up to 32 million Americans live by themselves according to statistics. What it boils down to is, firstly, the fact that we cannot ignore the attraction of living alone since it makes us more independent in all aspects. We will have a chance to experience new environment, adapt to changes and be more responsible for the decision we have made. For example, now you and your parents are no longer under the same roof, which means you have to learn how to be self-reliant and take care of yourself. Secondly, some people are still single because they have a tendency of being afraid of marriage. Frequent worry about many trivial things in life after marriage such as the financial and economic burden makes them exhausted, whereas those who are alone can live carefreely.

 

Overall, individualism does have some positive affect on society because it encourages people to be more independent, to voice their own opinions as well as to control their own actions. However, the fact that too many people choose to live by themselves also means that they object to being married. And in long term, this will create ageing population, which causes a lack of labor force in that country. Furthermore, besides having freedom and self-realizing, the people who live on their own feel inevitably lonesome as they are not close to their family.

 

To sum up, the rise of people who choose to live alone can be attributed to the fact that they either want to be more independent or are opposed to marriage. Although it puts a positive impact on society to a certain extent, the phenomenon is outweighed by the disadvantages such as a lack of human resources and the feeling of lonesome.

by
24 points

7 Comments

Chào Tiểu Đào,

Nhìn chung bài của bạn viết khá ổn với cấu trúc rõ ràng và lời văn mạch lạc. Ngoài ra, vốn từ vựng phong phú và cấu trúc câu đa dạng cũng là những điểm mạnh trong bài của bạn.

Mình có một vài góp ý nhỏ để bài viết hoàn thiện hơn.
- Body 1 paragraph: trong bài viết mình nghĩ hạn chế dùng đại từ "you" hay sở hữu " your" bạn nhé!!! vì người đọc sẽ có feeling không tốt nếu ví dụ về họ  mang nghĩa negative
- Body 2 paragraph:
* " And in long-term" nên là " As a result, for the long-term,"
* "that country" là country nào? bạn chưa đề cập nước nào trước đó nên dùng phrase này chưa hợp lý. Nên chăng ở đầu câu 2 bạn viết " However, in a country, too many people"
* "Furthermore, besides " bạn nên dùng một trong hai thôi nhé!
- conclusion paragraph:
* "the rise of people"  nên là "the rise in the number of people"
* cách điễn đạt sau đây mình không hiểu lắm "the phenomenon is outweighed by the disadvantages ". Theo mình, thì mình sửa lại là " its potential risks such as as a lack of human resources and the feeling of lonesome are not negligible"

Một vài ý chia sẽ với bạn!

Chúc bạn thành công!

Nguyễn Tính
Hi,
I really appreciate your help in correcting my essay. I will pay attention to those details the next time :D
However, I just checked the Oxford dictionary for the word 'term', and it is 'In the long term', instead of 'For the long term'. And finally, the structure 'It is outweighed by sth' is commonly used to compare between the pros and cons, the positive and negative effects of the phenomenon. In this case, I used it to emphasize there are more disadvantages than advantages (which is my point of view :D). But I also like your sentence too, which is 'the potential risks cannot be neglected' I will use it the next time :D
Anyway, thank you a lotttt for reading my essay :>
Hi,

You  are welcome! I am grateful for your kindness!:D
However, to the best my knowledge, In a long term or for the long term are both the same.
As your explanation in the way of using "It is outweighed by sth", that is ok, but you should express that idea more clearly, for example, "The risks are vastly outweighed by the potential benefits". This is because "the phenomenon", i think, can not  be appropriate subject in this context.
Ohhhhhh, that's it! Now I know my mistake :)) Thanks for pointing it out.
Ohhhhh, that's it! Now I know my mistake :)) Thanks for pointing it out.
Good job!!!
Anyone knows how many point for this one? (IELTS)
@Tidieu: Thanks a lot :>
3 votes
3 votes

Mong nhận được góp ý của các bạn! Xin chân thành cảm ơn! Nguyễn Tính

Most people would agree that there is a tendency of rising a number of people that prefer to live by themselves. The question is whether such a phenomenon brings benefits or drawbacks for social development. This essay will discuss main reasons as well as effects associated with this social issue.

There are numerous factors accounting for the reason why more and more individuals living alone. The most noticeable reason could be that economic prosperity and social security provided by modern welfare states enable more people to afford that living style. Another driving force may be communication's revolution, which allows people to experience the pleasures of social life even when they are living alone. Besides, the rise can stem from cultural change called the cult of the individual. Nowadays, an individual who is dissatisfied with their marriage can decide to divorce and live alone without paying attention to people's comments as in the past.

In fact, this phenomenon might cause negative impacts on social development. It is well-documented that the elderly and single parents are at high risk for mental health problems associated with living alone. What social psychologists want to emphasize is that those people are more likely to suffer more depressed mood and worse sleep quality.

However, this trend can provide significant social benefits. Citizens who stay by themselves may help to revitalize cities, because they tend to spend more money, socialize and participate in public life. In addition, those people dwelling in cities could consume less energy. Statistics indicate that they prefer to live in apartments rather than in big houses, and in relatively green cities rather than in car-dependent suburbs.

In conclusion, there is a wide range of factors related to this phenomenon. While there are several advantages to social development thanks to this trend, its potential risks are not negligible.

edited by
by
93 points

2 Comments

Bài viết của bạn quá ok. Mình chỉ thấy 1 chút lỗi nhỏ thế này:
ở paragraph 2: pleasure la Uncountable noun nên ko phải dùng là : experience the pleasure
Ở para3: thi mình chỉ góp ý là : Pay much attention (thêm chữ much vào nge có vẻ hay hơn :)
Hihi! Cam on ban tanngo! Minh se luu y nhung diem nay!

Chuc ban buoi toi vui ve!

Nguyen Tinh
4 votes
4 votes
Recently, the majority of people choosing to live alone instead of live with their families. This case become a difficult question, whether it bring benefits or drawbacks to develop society.

     There are several factors contribute to answer the question why people want to live by themselves in some areas. Firstly, many people argue that when they live alone, they will have individual freedom and do everything which they want to do. Secondly, the large proportion of people do not have enoungh conditions to get married because of differential sex, so they dicide to live alone. For example, some countries lack many boys to get married for girls. Other main factor because many families devorce after they married more and more popular in many nations, even when they had childrens. This lead to people may feel afraid if they contract marriage.

     On the other hand, singles also have some advantages and disadvantages for society. Nowadays, population more and more increase in many nations, so they can help reduce population in the world. Especially, people who decide live by themselves also help government support for the general public because they save more money and spare time for community. Moreover, they use less energy for daily rountine than family. This help save energy for government. Beside some positive effects, they bring the number of negative impact on development social. While many people in a family live in apartments or flat, singles also live alone in the same. Because of live by themselves, they make increase rate of the single old people in the future.

      In conclusion, people who choose live alone is rising dramatically in some countries. Although they bring some positive effects for community, but negative effects also equally.
by
11 points

2 Comments

edited by
Hi nhocquynh,

In general, your essay meets demands of the task. However, there are still some mistakes that I think you should pay more attention to.
- Spelling
+ paragraph 2: enoungh, dicide
+ paragraph 3: rountine
- Grammars as  subject-verb agreement, tense choice
+ para 1 (introduction) , if you write "Recently", the tense you should use is present perfect. Therefore, the first sentence can be written like that " Recently, the majority of people have chosen to live......instead of living with...".
+ para 2: Other main factor because →  Another main factor could be that; This lead to people→ this lead to the fact that people...
- subject-verb agreement:
+ para 1-sentence 2: become→  becomes; bring→ brings,
+ para 2 contribute→ contributing;
+para 3: this help→  this helps;  impact→  impacts; live→  living, increase→ increasing
+ para 4: people→  the number of people; live→ living or to live,
- Word choice: boys → males, girls→ females

That is all I want to share with you :D
Nguyen Tinh
thanks for your comments. it's very useful for me.
2 votes
2 votes
In modern life, the trend of living alone in some countries is increasing. It reflects that society is more pressure, and having a private life is a way to release it. It is obvious that each problem has two sides of a coin, and it is also true with this issue.

There are several reasons why a number of people living alone are rising dramatically in the near few years. Firstly, the time people can spend on family daily life is cut down, so people want to live far away from their family. It is true that when people spend almost all of their time on working, they seem tire to look after their children after hard working day. Secondly, many people want to be more freedom in their life and their hobbies. Young people, for example, they would like to eat fast food while their parents only like traditional food.

There is no doubt that this trend brings some benefits for human lives. It is true that living alone support people to be more positive in their life. People need to take care themselves such as self-cooking, self-cleaning; this helps people to manage their time better. Furthermore, people can satisfy with their life, and do not need to negotiate to others. Sometimes, we are unacceptable with our roommates’ behavior, but it will not happen when we live alone.

Besides several advantages of living alone, it also leads to many drawbacks. It seems that people are lack of sharing feelings to others. They do not live with their family member, so they have no chance to be happy when a child is born. In addition, people may feel lonely when they suffering from diseases. People will become tired if they have to look after themselves when they are sick.

In conclusions, in modern society, many people want to live in individual life. This development brings both pros and cons in human lives.
by
27 points
1 vote
1 vote
There has been an upward trend of solitary living in developed nations which results from individualism and increasing stress on work. In this essay, I shall discuss the pros and cons of this common issue.

As a matter of fact, people tend to live more independently and be further contented with single life than they used to. Specifically, modern human has higher self esteem, respects their life privacy as well as desires to obtain more freedom. To some extent, marriage, family and attached responsibility hinder them from experience at their own disposal such as a sudden trip, continuous work in peak season, mid night parties, private silent space and so on. Regarding the external factor, not only does the development of society offer various job opportunities but also it requires accelerating productivity. Then, putting more time and effort on work lessens other demands including building up relationship, taking care of family members. Thus, people might prefer to live alone as investment for career growth.

Yet, this social issue obviously brings both advantages and disadvantages as dominating the human lifestyle. Individual life paves the way for people to be more mature, independent and confident when doing arrangements for living. That produces better generation leading to more quality population. Another point worth consideration is that singles spend more money than families contributing to higher economic consumption. Staying alone drives people to join more entertaining activities, eating outside and bearing all expenses on their own.

In the other hand, there are such significant drawbacks as citizens choose to live solitarily. The major concern is ageing population which derives from declining birth rate. Consequently, reduction in labor force and welfare policy for the elderly has burdened the government and economy as well.

To conclude, individualism and workaholics causes public preference for being single. This phenomenon is a double-edged sword for society development
by
11 points
3 votes
3 votes
Currently living solo has become controversial across many parts of the world. Although it brings several benefits for solo dwellers, however, I believe that the disadvantages always outweigh the advantages.

To begin with, there are various reasons make peple settling down as a singleton. First of all, contemporary people have become more busier. They concern the career and the study too much to find it difficult to choose a suitable partner. Take case in Asian countries as an example, if an ordinary female was a PhD, she frankly would have less likely to choose a deserved husband. In other words, when the young is sufficient skills and income that may help live independently, no matter whether they get married or not, they are certainly able to contrive their life without the support from their friends and family. As a consequence, living with others is no longer important to their life. Secondly,  many people are dissatisfied with their spouse these days and they decide to get divorced after a long time living together. Besides, some people have conflicts with their family menbers and hence they leave their family and enjoy their solo living.

Many people believe that living alone is beneficial to themselves and society because they have more time to pursuit their individual passion and attend the social activities. When a people live alone, they will have leisure time to do their hobbies such as playing sports, painting, singing freely and even having party day by day but they don’t affaid to disturb anothers, instanced their family at home. Moreover, the rise of living alone has produced significant social benefits. Young and middle-aged solos have helped to revitalise cities, because they are more likely to spend money, socialise and participate in public life.

On the other hand, I can claim with the certainty that this trend does more harm than good. The main reason is that it will expand the gap between generations and the family members are not close as before. When erverybody lives as a singleton, they will barely visit or meet their relatives because their life is occupied by work and friend. Hence, the ederly will suffer the loneliness and have more likely to get health troubles. Another  worth taking in account disadvantage is that the it costs more for shelters. When most people live individually,  phenomena such as sharing room, private transports or houseworks seem to be faded away. As a matter of fact, curretly there is a lack of house and apartment while the demand of housing is exploding and hence this trend put a serious pressure on the infrastructure.

To sum up, it seems to me that there is many reason why there is growing number of people deciding to live alone and its negative impacts is more prevalent than the benefits.
edited by
by
16 points

2 Comments

Hi Casileroi,

In general, your essay is quite good. However, I think it will be much more perfect if you pay more attention to some following points.

- To be honest, I do have to say that you wrote so much. Its length is over 460 words so that more mistakes can appear. It also leads to insufficient time in a real exam. However, that is ok if you manage these problems. It depends on you.:D

- You should check spelling and grammar carefully:
+ Para 2: make→that make; more busier → much busier or much more busy; take→to take; to get divorced→ get a divorce/ to divorce
+Para 4: get→ suffer
+ Para 5: there is many reason→ there are many reasons

That is all I want to share with you!

Nguyen Tinh
tks guy. I has realize that it's too long since I have finished it in last week . :)

Related questions