How much band score can get? . In your opinion, should young people choose their professions, or should their parents choose for them? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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Choosing a job is an important thing in life. Many people think that the young generation
should have the right to choose their own jobs while some others claim that it is better
when parents decide jobs for their offspring. In this essay, I would like to take these views
under consideration and provide my personal opinion.

There are certain reasons why young people should decide their career. The first reason is
that the youth should be allowed to follow their passion; therefore, they can maximize
their job performance. For example, when people love children and desire to pursue the
teaching career, they should follow their passion because they can get great and
satisfactory achievements in the job and never have a feeling of regret. In addition, no one
but young people can understand their own strengths and weaknesses and they can avoid
risks and failures. In particular, a person who is afraid of blood will never choose to be a
doctor or a person with a fear of heights will never decide to become a flight attendant.

On the other hand, there are also some reasons why parents should choose jobs for their
beloved children. One of the major causes is that successful parents tend to encourage
their offspring to follow in their footsteps to earn successes. It is because they are
experienced in life and they do not want their children to take risks. They want their
children to have a bright future and get the best results in their career. One more reason is
that some parents can help children to shorten their way to success thanks to their
financial capacity and relationships. They can provide their sons or daughters with
sufficient fund to start up a business or widen the network of customers.

In conclusion, although there are certain benefits when parents decide the jobs for
children, this move also brings about several drawbacks because children will never
become independent and stand on their feet. In my opinion, the young generation had
better do what they love to become more mature and independent.
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You wrote: ...iews under consideration and provide my personal opinion. There are certain reasons why young p...

Feedback: Use simply "opinion".

Error type: Redundant Phrase error

Suggestion: opinion

 

2. You wrote: ... can understand their own strengths and weaknesses and they can avoid risks and failures. In p...

Feedback: Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).

Error type: Punctuation error

Suggestion: weaknesses, and

 

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