From my perspective, working as a teacher has many merits. Due to the fact that this work is very fascinating, so a myriad of people are more likely to become a teacher. Being a teacher, you are admired and respected; therefore, they always gain sentiment by all students. (something is wrong with collocation, I suspect). Besides, they have many opportunities to communicate with different kinds of children and students, so teachers can truly understand the mentality of students. The teachers are bound to face up with some difficulties in teaching some mischievous students: however, from these experiences, they will absolutely gain a lot of skills about teaching, keep calm and control emotions. In general, I think working as a teacher is very exhilarating(error in word choice, it is used for people, in this case, you have used for a job) for people wanting to have many memories in their life
- This correction is not completely true, but I checked it in terms of an IELTS learner (OVERALL: 6.5)
- It is based on my knowlegde about writing, so I have made a lot of effort to find out your mistake.
- You should learn more phrase as well as vocabulary to enhance your essay (in fact it is easy to read).
- Be careful with your word choice, it may make your essay become unnatural.