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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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People in the cities find it hard to get enough physical exercise. Many reasons can be given to explain this phenomenon, which necessitates the implementation of appropriate measures to address it

 

There are several factors responsible for doing enough physical exercise, the most important of which relate to exercise place and the shortage of time. As for the former, in urban areas, dwellers have difficulties to find a free exercise place because of the growth of population, buildings and polluted air instead of lakes or parks with trees. Therefore, although inhabitants have awareness of daily exercise, there is no public place for them. Another cause could be that people spend too much time on their jobs. To save time for working, they prefer driving cars to walking or cycling bicycles. By doing this, some people work hard and increase their pressure. This mean that after a hard-working day, many people choose kind of entertainment more than workout

 

Various measures can be taken by government and companies or schools to redress the situation. To begin with, the government can encourage dwellers by providing free facilities where people can exercise. This can be done by building more parks. Besides, they can run some social campaign to encourage the citizens to maintain health by TV programmes. Another solution could be for schools and companies to show the disadvantage of obesity. For instance, in school, children are taught a sense of health awareness and do physical movements every day in Vietnam. If this method is widely applied, it will gradually form an advisable habit in city dwellers.

 

In conclusion, although there are challenging for people to get sufficient physical activity, government and schools or companies can collaborate to solve this problem

 

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People in the cities find it hard to get enough physical exercise. Many reasons can be given to explain this phenomenon, which necessitates the implementation of appropriate measures to address it

 

There are several factors responsible for doing enough physical exercise, the most important of which relates to exercise place and the shortage of time. As for the former, in urban areas, dwellers have difficulties finding a free exercise place because of the growth of population, buildings and polluted air instead of lakes or parks with trees. Therefore, although inhabitants have awareness of daily exercise, there is no public place for them. Another cause could be that people spend too much time on their jobs. To save time for working, they prefer driving cars to walking or cycling ( not cycling bicycles ). By doing this, some people work hard and might be under immense pressure. This means that after an exhausting day, many people choose kinds of entertainment rather than workout.

Various measures can be taken by government and companies or schools to redress the situation. To begin with, the government can encourage dwellers by providing free facilities where people can exercise. This can be done by building more parks. Besides, they can run some social campaign to encourage the citizens to enhace their health/ maintain their health by TV programmes. Another solution could be for schools and companies to show the disadvantage of obesity. For instance, in school, children are taught a sense of health awareness and do physical movements every day in Vietnam. If this method is widely applied, it will gradually form an advisable habit in city dwellers.

 

In conclusion, although it is challenging for people to get sufficient physical activity, government and schools or companies can collaborate to solve this problem. 

 

 

I just took a general look at your essay. 

There are several grammartical errors in your essay, so I corrected some of them. Although it still remains some errors I have not found out yet, hopefully it can help you

 
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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm Điểm nhé :)

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