advantages of learning english

Question

English has developed over the course of more than 1,400 years. It is spoken worldwide, everywhere. It is the most widely learned second language and also the official languages in almost 60 sovereign countries. So, that is why it is indispensable to learn English. There is quite a few clear benefits, but it goes without saying that the most important part is that English is the largest means of communication. The world is huge and the population is giant. Through English, you can easier make friend with over three bilions of people in the world! You can also talk with the foreigners. That will be very inconvenient and stupid if we stand in front of a foreigner and do not know what they are talking! Another obvious point is that English is useful in finding a job. Many companies need good employees who can read, write, talk, listen well to do international work. So that English is very important in seeking a job. In conclusion, I cannot mention all in this paragraph, they are countless. English is just like a bread which you eat in every breakfast. So learn it, and your future will be very brightful.

 

Answer 1

  English has developed over the course of more than 1,400 years. It is spoken worldwide, everywhere. It is the most widely learned second language and also the official languages (without 's') in almost 60 sovereign countries. So,(Therefore) that is why it is indispensable to learn English. There is quite a few clear benefits, but it goes without saying that (more frequently in Speaking) the most important part is that English is the largest means of communication. The world is huge and the population is giant. There is a radical increase in population and citizens are getting access to the Internet frequently. Consequently, through English, you can find it more accessible easier to make friend (add 's') with over three bilions of people in the world! You are also be able to communicate talk with the foreigners. That will be extremely very inconvenient and stupid if you  we stand in front of a foreigner and be confused aboutdo not know what they are talking! Another obvious point is that English is useful in finding a job. Many companies mostly require their employees to be able to be proficient in four skills need good employees who can read, write, talk, listen well to do international work. So that English is completely paramount  important in seeking a job. In conclusion, I cannot mention all in this paragraph, they(they ->what are mentioned?) are numerous countless. English is just like a bread which you eat in every breakfast. So learn it, and your future will be pretty very brightful.

In my viewpoint, in your paragraph, there are a few linking phrases related to speaking that is not approriate to use in your writing. And If this paragrah is used for your speech, that is ok. 
That is my opinion that is not quite sufficient for you, but I hope can kindly check again and be pleased.

Comments

Can you give me some more linking phrases, I just can use some of this that I aready know? 

Anyway, I am very grateful, thanks a lots!