IELTS task 1 trang 16 sách COMPLETE IELTS 5-6.5

Question

xin các tiền bối chữa giúp em ạ :)) được thì chấm điểm luôn ạ :))

 

The chart shows difficulties experienced by those moving abroad and how the problems change according to people’s age.

To start with, the greatest problem for the middle age group is dealing with healthcare, with 37 percent of 35-54-year-olds having troubling sorting out healthcare services. In comparison, this problem is also the most significant in people over 55, standing at 36 percent. In the youngest age group, healthcare is the second most faced problem, at 34 percent, following financial problems.

Of all three age groups, the middle one is the most likely to have problems related to money, though the youngest group is very close, with 35 and 34 percent respectively. In people of the oldest age group, the numbers fall to 29 percent.

People of ages 35 to 54 have the most problems finding a school for their children (29 percent) while the older groups have the least problems (2 percent).

In brief, all groups have the same problems to some extent, but the middle age group has to deal with the most problems when living abroad.

 

Answer 1

mình nghĩ bài của bạn đang bị lặp các cấu trúc câu, bạn nên kết hợp các loại ctruc khác nhau để mở rộng hơn. Một số từ như ''in comparison'' nên đổi thành similarly sẽ hợp lý hơn. với cả ''people of ages'' nên là ''people aged''. Btw thì t cũng viết không oke lắm nên thông cảm nếu ý kiến của t không hợp với bạn :'')

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nha ^^