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Topic: Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In twenty-first century, we are in digital age where the time of technology bloom. In order to help people to communicate on the move, some innovative kinds of communications has been invented. Two of them are email and messaging which are becoming more and more ubiquitous and indispensable. However, decreasing the amount of time people hang out with their friends is its drawback. I believe the advantages will overshadow all of the disadvantages.

To start with, these advanced contact method helped people a lot in communicating. People find it interesting to talk to their friends in a new way. These days, people are busy on their works and don’t have much leisure time. In that case, texting is a perfect choice when they want to talk or confide. If there is something go wrong in the contract, the secretary can contact constantly to their boss by using a social network account. Furthermore, some introverts will have troubles when communicate face-to-face to another. To get rid of these obstacles, social network will help them. Being behind a phone screen or a computer will make them not to be as clumsy as in real life.

In my view, using these modern method to contact can help us communicate with people who live in another countries or continents. It can also expand our “friend-circle” and bring us more interesting friends. Some distant relatives who we hardly meet can call video with us in some special occasions. Like my aunt, on my grandmother’s birthday, because she could not come back home in time, she decided to call back to home by using Facebook. Not only Facebook but also Skype, Zalo, Viber, etc. can do the same thing.

As you can see, these kinds of social network is very convenient in their own way. To include, I think the advantages of them completely outweigh the disadvantages. The thing is we need to know how to make use of it and manage to restrict its negative effects.

 

 

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In twenty-first century, we are in digital age where -> when the time of technology bloom-> is in bloom. In order to help people to communicate on the move ( cái này kiểu idioms và mình thấy không hợp nghĩa lắm nên bạn dùng từ khác nha, efficiently chẳng hạn ), some innovative kinds of communications has->have been invented. Two of them are email and messaging which are becoming more and more ubiquitous and indispensable. However, decreasing the amount of time people hang out with their friends is its drawback.( phần này bạn nên paraphrase lại chút cho academic hơn nha. Eg: It is argued that two gadgets such as email and messaging are of tremendous ubiquituousness while others indicate that they are taking their tolls on face-to-face meetings among people.) I believe the advantages will overshadow all of the disadvantages.
To start with, these advanced contact method (obviously) helped->help people a lot in communicating. People find it interesting to talk to their friends in a new way. These days, people are busy on->at ( to be busy at sth/doing sth ) their works and don’t-> do not ( kiêng kị viết tắt trong academic writing bạn nha) have much leisure time. In that case, texting is a perfect choice when they want to talk or confide. For example, If there is something go wrong in the contract, the secretary can contact constantly to their boss by using a social network account. Furthermore, some introverts will have troubles when communicate->communicating face-to-face to another->others. To get rid of these obstacles, social network will help them. Being behind a phone screen or a computer will make them not to be->not be ( make sb v ) as clumsy as in real life.
In my view, using these modern method to contact can help us communicate with people who live in another countries or continents. It can also expand our “friend-circle” and bring us more interesting friends. Some distant relatives who we hardly meet can call video with us in->on some special occasions. Like my aunt, on my grandmother’s birthday, because she could not come back home in time, she decided to call back to home by using Facebook. Not only Facebook but also Skype, Zalo, Viber, etc. can do the same thing.
As you can see, these kinds of social network is->are very convenient in their own way. To include, I think the advantages of them completely outweigh the disadvantages. The thing is that we need to know how to make use of it->them and manage to restrict its->their negative effects.
Mình không cao thủ lắm nên chỉ comment được như này thôi, bạn nên sử dụng nhiều từ nối cho văn phong mượt hơn nha.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (4 điểm)
À chỗ viết tắt là do lúc dò lại mình bỏ sót, do lúc đầu mình viết 1 bản đơn giản thôi ấy r từ đó chỉnh sửa triển khai ra nên bỏ qua mất chữ don't. Cảm ơn bạn đã chỉnh sửa giúp mình nhé!

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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