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The table gives information on the percentages of mobile phone owners using different features.

 

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The table shows the proportions of some mobile phone’s functions’ usage. 

 

Overall, basic features such as Phone, Camera and Messaging were the three most commonly used among users and there was only slight changes in their usage while the numbers of people using Gaming, Internet Browser, Music Player and Video Recorder steeply increased. 

 

With almost everyone who owns a cell phone used it to make calls, this function were the most popular function among the seven functions listed in the table. Coming in second was text messaging, which was used by  more than three quarters of users, followed by capturing pictures. While the percentage of people using Camera and Text Messaging functions grew gently by 10% and 6% consecutively from 2006 to 2010, the figure for making call function witnessed a minimal decline by 1% through the course of five years. 

 

Compared to the three functions mentioned above, the other four were only used by the minority of cell phone owners, with the exception of Internet Browser, which were used by 73% of users.  However, in contrast to the insignificant changes of the percentages of people using first three functions, the figure for these four ones picked up rather markedly, especially for Video recorder with an expansion from only 9% people using it in 2008 to 35% in only two years after. 


 

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The table shows the proportions of some mobile phone functions’ usage. Overall, basic features such as Phone, Camera and Messaging were the three most commonly used among users and there were only slight changes in their usage while the numbers of people using Gaming, Internet Browser, Music Player and Video Recorder steeply increased. 

 

With almost everyone who owns a cell phone used it to make calls, this function was the most popular function among the seven functions listed in the table. Coming in second was text messaging, which was used by more than three-quarters of users, followed by capturing pictures. While the percentage of people using Camera and Text Messaging functions grew gently by 10% and 6% consecutively from 2006 to 2010, the figure for making call function witnessed a minimal decline by 1% through the course of five years. 

 

Compared to the three functions mentioned above, the other four were only used by the minority of cell phone owners, with the exception of Internet Browser, which was used by 73% of users.  However, in contrast to the insignificant changes in the percentages of people using the first three functions, the figure for these four ones picked up rather markedly, especially for Video recorders with an expansion from only 9% people using it in 2008 to 35% in only two years after. 

 

Note: You should be careful about verb-agreement.

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Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-1_-Mobile-phone-owners-using-different-features-1.docx

The table shows the proportions of some mobile phone’s functions’ usage.

Overall, basic features such as [D1] Phone, Camera and Messaging [D2] were the[D3]  three most commonly used among users and there was[D4]  only slight changes in their usage while the numbers of people using Gaming, Internet Browser, Music Player and Video Recorder steeply increased[D5]

With almost everyone who owns a cell phone used it to make calls, this function were [D6] the most popular function among the seven functions listed in the table. Coming in second was text messaging, which was used by  more than three quarters of users, followed by capturing pictures. While the percentage of people using Camera and Text Messaging [D7] functions grew gently by 10% and 6% consecutively from 2006 to 2010, the figure for making call function witnessed a minimal decline by 1% through the course of five years. 

Compared to the three functions mentioned above[D8] , the other four [D9] were only used by the minority of cell phone owners, with the exception of Internet Browser, which were used by 73% of users.  However, in contrast to the insignificant changes of the ,percentages of people using first three functions, [D10] the figure for these four ones picked up rather markedly, especially for Video recorder with an expansion from only 9% people using it in 2008 to 35% in only two years after. 


 [D1]Grammar error:  It is wrong preposition, => Basic feature of cell phones.

 [D2]Grammar error: First letter of these words, do not write it in capital.

 [D3]Grammar error: This article is wrong in this context, =>  Were mostly used among users.

 [D4]Grammar error: There were slight changes.

 [D5]Idea suggestion: In the way people use other application such as game, Internet browser, music player and video recorder, which increased in number of users.

 [D6]Grammar error: Was, and to avoid repeating, => This function was popular comparing to the rest.

 [D7]Grammar error: Such as comment 2.

 [D8]Idea suggestion: Comparing with above mentioned functions.

 [D9]Meaning error: What you mean by these words?

 [D10]Vocabulary error: First three functions, => There is no serial number hence it is not logical to use these words, => By contrast, the change of user percentage in using make calls, take photo, send & receive text messages was massive.


CRITERIA

GRADE

COMMENT

 Task Achievement

7

• covers the requirements of the task

• (A) presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or

stages

• (GT) presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and

appropriate

• clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points

but could be more fully extended

Coherence and Cohesion

7

• logically organises information and ideas; there is clear

progression throughout

• uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although

there may be some under-/over-use
 

Lexical Resource

6

• •uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task

• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some

inaccuracy

• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but

they do not impede communication

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7

• uses a variety of complex structures

• produces frequent error-free sentences

• has good control of grammar and punctuation but may

make a few errors

Overall

7.0

 

 

Model Answer:

The table compares the percentages of people using different functions of their mobile phones between 2006 and 2010.


Throughout the period shown, the main reason why people used their mobile phones was to make calls. However, there was a marked increase in the popularity of other mobile phone features, particularly the Internet search feature.

In 2006, 100% of mobile phone owners used their phones to make calls, while the next most popular functions were text messaging (73%) and taking photos (66%). By contrast, less than 20% of owners played games or music on their phones, and there were no figures for users doing Internet searches or recording video.

Over the following 4 years, there was relatively little change in the figures for the top three mobile phone features. However, the percentage of people using their phones to access the Internet jumped to 41% in 2008 and then to 73% in 2010. There was also a significant rise in the use of mobiles to play games an

Source:  

https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/07/ielts-writing-task-1-mobile-phones-essay.html

 

 

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