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Write about the following topic:


Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

 

 

 

     Nowaday, people often use computers to finish their assignments or their work. So some of them said computers is the most important invention of the last hundred years and play an important role in mankind's life. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, about the computer 's role in human life.

    For student, computer help them to make their homeworks easily. In the past, when student wanted to do their homeworks, they had to find the information in books or newspaper in the library at school or in bookshops , which took them many time to do this. But now they can find the neccesary information in the computer with Internet, which can make their score higher and improve their stidy result. Moreover, they can participate the online competition so that they can receive the scholarship or lots of money from donors.

    For adult, computer make their life easier. They can finish their work faster and easier when they find the exciting information in the computer that never seen before and sometimes thet will accomplish a lot of achievements on their career path which can make their income higher. Moreover, they can release their stess when they listen to music or go shopping online in the computer that can make their life better and help them love life more.

    In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that computer is the most invention of mankind. Thanks to computer, we can develop ourself as well as develop country in the various way, take humanity to a new era with many interesting but difficult things to explore.

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Nowaday , Nowadays, people often use computers to finish their assignments or their work (Có thể sử dụng cấu trúc bị động: Computers are used for the multi-purposes). So (đầu câu không nên dùng "So", có thể thay bằng "This leads to the belief that computer is the most useful technological tool which was invented of the last century ) some of them said computers is the most important invention  (should paraphrase the most important invention....) of the last hundred years and play an important role in mankind's life. In my opinion, I agree with this statement claiming the significance of computer in human life. 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (11 điểm)
0 phiếu

 Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_Computers-are-the-most-important-invention.docx

Nowaday Nowadays, people often use computers to finish their assignments or their work. So some of them said computers is the most important invention of the last hundred years and play an important role in mankind's life. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, about the computer 's role in human life about the computer’s role in human life.

    For students, computer helps them to make their homeworks homework easily[p1] . In the past, when students wanted to do their homeworks homework, they had to find the information in from raw materials, such as[p2]  books or newspaper in the library at school or in bookshops, which took them many time to do this[p3] . But now they can find the neccesary necessary information in the computer[p4]  with Internet, which can make their score higher and improve their stidy result which can improve their studying results with higher scores. Moreover, they can participate in the online competition so that they can receive the scholarship or lots of money from donors.

    For adults, computer makes their life easier. They can finish their work faster and easier[p5]  when they find the exciting information in the computer that never seen before and sometimes they will accomplish a lot of achievements on in their career paths which can make their income higher. Moreover, they can release their stress when they listen to music or go shopping online do some online shopping in the computer on the computer that can make their life better and help them love life more.

    In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that computer is the most invention of mankind. Thanks to computer, we can develop ourself as well as develop country in the various way, take[p6]  humanity to a new era with many interesting but difficult things to explore.


 [p1]“computer helps them to complete their homework effectively”

 [p2]Idea Suggestion: Those are called “raw materials”

 [p3]Grammar Error: “time” is uncountable

-> “which took them a lot of time”

 [p4]Vocabulary Error: Always use “on” whenever mentioning “computers”

-> “information on computers with the Internet”

 [p5]Idea Suggestion: Paraphrase to avoid repetition

-> “they can finish their work within shorter amount of time”

 [p6]Grammar Error: You must use “relative clause”

-> “which takes”/ “taking”


CRITERIA

GRADE

COMMENT

 Task Response

6

  • addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
  • presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
  • presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

Coherence and Cohesion

6

  • arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression
  • uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
  • may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
  • uses paragraphing, but not always logically

Lexical Resource

6

  • uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
  • attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
  • makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6

  • uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
  • makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication

Overall

6

 

 

 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (202 điểm)
0 phiếu

I just check for your grammar and vocabulary.

Nowadays, people often use computers to finish their assignments or work. So some of them said computers is the most important invention of the last hundred years and play an important role in mankind's life. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, about the computer 's role in human life.
 
    For students, a computer helps them to make their homework easily. In the past, when a student wanted to do their homework, they had to find the information in books or newspaper in the library at school or in bookshops, which took them much time to do this. But now they can find the necessary information on the computer with the Internet, which can make their score higher and improve their study result. Moreover, they can participate in an online competition so that they can receive the scholarship or lots of money from donors.
 
    For an adult, the computer makes their life easier. They can finish their work faster and easier when they find the exciting information in the computer that never seen before and sometimes that will accomplish a lot of achievements on their career path which can make their income higher. Moreover, they can release their stress when they listen to music or go shopping online on the computer that can make their life better and help them love life more.
 
    In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that the computer is the most invention of mankind. Thanks to computer, we can develop ourself as well as develop the country in various ways, take humanity to a new era with many interesting but difficult things to explore.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (20 điểm)

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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