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Question: [G][b]In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study aboard. What are the advantages and disadvatages of this development?

We now live in an age when many of us have a chance to study in another country to get a university qualification. It is different from many years ago that students just stayed in their province and went to college, so let us consider what strengths and weaknesses studying aboard includes.

Generally speaking, a student will benefit from living aboard and studying there. Firstly, every country has its diverse traditions and customs, so it is good for us to discover. For example, Chileans have a surprisingly unique New Year celebrating way is spending New Year's Eve with the dead. Therefore, some kinds of traditional celebrations like that probably make us curious and interested in. Secondly, we will have a chance to study with effective and modern studying methods that help us to learn easily such as theories combine practicing, going on an excursion, studying with smart televisions and robots, being encouraged to organize a community project, etc so we will become more knowledgeable to develop our countries when we return.

Notwithstanding, getting foreign schooling also has some drawbacks. Culture shock is one of them. We cannot be accustomed to it right away; it may take us two weeks or one month to adjust, especially for some of who have been familiar to our country's lifestyles, it can take us years. For instance, Asians have difficulty being used to the greet methods are kissing cheeks and hugging each other when they study in Western countries. Or some left-handed people feel uncomfortable in the UAE because using left hand when they are eating is considered gross. Otherwise, if we have a habit of sitting in the back of a cab, then it is rude in Australia.

Without any doubt, not only does the trend of overseas study have the positive aspect  but also the downside. We can explore the culture and experience studying facilities. Nevertheless, some cultural styles prevent us from managing to modify our lives.

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đã hỏi trong Advantages-Disadvantages bởi (38 điểm)
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+1 phiếu

We now live in an age when many of us have a chance to study in another country to get a university qualification. It is different from many years ago that students just stayed in their province and went to college, so let us consider what strengths and weaknesses studying aboard includes.

Generally speaking, a student will benefit from living aboard and studying there. Firstly, every country has its diverse traditions and customs, so it is good for us to discover. For example, Chileans have a surprisingly unique New Year celebrating way is spending New Year's Eve with the dead. Therefore, some kinds of traditional celebrations like that like probably to makes probably make us curious and interested in. Secondly, we will have a chance to study with effective and modern studying methods that help us to learn easily such as theories combine practicing, going on an excursion, studying with smart televisions and robots, being encouraged to organize a community project, etc so ect, so we will become more knowledgeable to develop our countries when we return.

Notwithstanding, getting foreign schooling also has some drawbacks. Culture shock is one of them. We cannot be accustomed to it right away; it may take us two weeks or one month to adjust, especially for some of who some of whom have been familiar to our country's lifestyles, it can take us years. For instance, Asians have difficulty being used to the greet methods are kissing cheeks and hugging each other when they study in Western countries. Or some left-handed people feel uncomfortable in the UAE because using left hand when they are eating is considered gross. Otherwise, if we have a habit of sitting in the back of a cab, then it is rude in Australia.

Without any doubt, not only does the trend of overseas study have the positive aspect  but also the downside. We can explore the culture and experience studying facilities. Nevertheless, some cultural styles prevent us from managing to modify our lives.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (32 điểm)
cảm ơn bạn nhiều nhé
+1 phiếu

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_-Study-aboard-1.docx

We now live[W1]  in an age when many of us [W2] have a chance to study in another country[W3]  to get a university qualification. It is different from many years ago that students just stayed in their province and went to college, so let us consider what strengths and weaknesses studying aboard includes.[W4] 

Generally speaking,[W5]  a student will benefit from living aboard and studying there. Firstly, every country has its[W6]  diverse traditions and customs, so it is good for us[W7]  to discover. For example, Chileans[W8]  have a surprisingly unique New Year celebrating way is spending New Year's Eve with the dead. Therefore, some kinds of traditional celebrations like that probably make us curious and interested in. Secondly, we will have a chance to study with effective and modern studying methods that help us to learn easily such as theories combine practicing, going on an excursion, studying with smart televisions and robots, being encouraged to organize a community project, etc so we will become more knowledgeable to develop our countries when we return.[W9] 

Notwithstanding, getting foreign schooling also has some drawbacks[W10] . Culture shock is one of them. We cannot be accustomed to it right away; it may take us two weeks or one month to adjust, especially for some of who have been familiar to our country's lifestyles, it can take us years. For instance, Asians have difficulty being used to the greet methods are kissing cheeks and hugging each other when they study in Western countries.[W11]  Or some left-handed people feel uncomfortable in the UAE because using left hand when they are eating is considered gross. Otherwise, if we have a habit of sitting in the back of a cab, then it is rude in Australia.

Without any doubt, not only does the trend of overseas study have the positive aspect  but also the downside. We can explore the culture and experience studying facilities. Nevertheless, some cultural styles prevent us from managing to modify our lives.


 [W1]Idea suggestion: It has ‘now’, hence it is appropriate to use present continuous tense, => We are now living.

 [W2]Idea suggestion: Many students.

 [W3]Idea suggestion: Other countries, ( other and another have different way to use it, please learn it carefully)

 [W4]Idea suggestion: I prefer this way to express words.

  • I would like to discuss the pros and cons of this development in this essay.

 [W5]Vocabulary error: DO not use these words in academic writing.

 [W6]Redundant word.

 [W7]Vocabulary error: You used a student, hence it is wrong to use US here.

 [W8]Spelling error: If I am not wrong, this word should be CHILDREN.

 [W9]Idea suggestion: Never use such as long sentence like this, you are not able to control grammar.

  • Secondly, these students have chances to study in developed countries, which help to explore their full potentials. For example, etc………………………………………

 [W10]Idea suggestion: The decision of accessing foreign universities has some drawbacks.

 [W11]Idea suggestion: For instance, Asian people have uncomfortable feeling to adjust their behaviours to be kissed or proactively kiss someone on cheek as greeting each other.

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (202 điểm)
Hello! Thank you for fixing every mistake in my essay and explaining carefully. But there is something I need to tell you that Chilean is a nationality of a person who live in Chile, not children.

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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