The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over betwenen 1940 and 2040 in three different countries
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The garph provides changes in the amount of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries

A quick glance at the graph reveals that the population aged 65 and over increased dramatically
 

The rate of population aged 65 and over in japan showed a slight downward trend, decreasing from 5% in 1940 until it remanin steady between 2000 and 2020 . from 2000 to 2040 it had soared to almost 27.5% , which was the highest rate of all.
 

On the other hand, during this 100-year period in sweden and USA , the older people followed a increased trend.  In 1940 USA was by far  the most popular of older population, with approx 9% in total 3 countries. After a forty-year period of  erratic fluctuation, its figure increased dramatically to approximately 15% in 1980 and reached the maximum threshold in 2040 with about 25%. Similarly, sweden older people sharply increased over the whole timescale, ending the period at level 3 times its amount in the first year, namely around 23.75%.

It is worth noting  that while  other types of countries experienced changes, japan remained the highest popular older people throughout the period.
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Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/The-garph-revised.docx

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COMMENT

 Task Response

4

  •  Partly addressed the question, a lot of information was not accurately presented.

 

Coherence and Cohesion

4

  • Coherence: Poor
  • Liking devices: Sometimes not academic/correct.

Lexical Resource

3.5

  • Range of vocabulary: Limited
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3.5

  • Range of structures: OK
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  • Some mistakes need to be paid attention to.

Overall

3.5

 

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