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Update: Từ 30/4/2019 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
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Cutting-edge equipments mean getting every information in the worlds with our touching. This development brought many advantages for people to looking for information and connect people together through only a phone or a tablet. In spite of enhancement of smart devices, I can't refuse that there are several of disadvantages of this development that impact on people's lives. This essay will analyze the negative effects to creation and relationships of humans.
On the one hand, people could not have a creation and operation of their brain, they become more passive in thinking and understanding because of increase of useful information on the internet. A good example of this is that my sister, who was assigned, did not think anything, she just accessed internet and there are thousands results for her task and she completed it quickly, without thinking. Development of technology makes people become more lazy, passive and do not really reflect upon what the solutions are, it even dilute  humans' concentration and memories. Thus, this is one of the most drawback of spread of modern technological devices.
On the other hand, state-of-the-art equipments also make a distance between every person and people around them. Focusing on accessing the internet or flicker Facebook, Instagram means do not care about anyone. Sometimes, going to the coffee shop and we could suprise, and realize that everyone is holding their phone, doing something but don't talk with their friends, who is opposite and holding ones. We can see that everywhere, even in ourselves. Everything in the internet too fascinating and can not be left, it's not too strange when people very like devices and ready to immerse in fiction life. Though this view, we can see that the increasing change of modern equipments is a bad effect for people.
To summarize, the drawbacks of developing smart devices are lack of truly thinking and being unfamiliar with people around a person. It is predicted that people will develop properly and have solutions for these drawbacks in the essay, world could witnessed a better modern life.
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I found some grammatical mistakes:

1: line 4, 1st paragraph: there are several disadvantages of...

2: line 2, 2nd paragraph:... because of the increase...

3: line 3, 2nd paragraph:... she just accseed THE internet...and there are thousands of results

there are alot of minor mistakes in your essay, I have to eat now, I will check later.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm Điểm nhé :)

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