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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

It is clear that increasing the number of animals close to extinction over the last few years is a subject of extremely debatable topic due to its negative effects on human's lives. Given that this is one of the imperative worldwide problems, identifying the reasons behind this pattern is key to finding the solutions.

There are a number of reasons why this situation is becoming progressively worse. For one reason, man-made threats, like poaching and cultivation, are factors that drive to dramatically disappearancing forever of some species. In fact, according to recent reports, the management of endangered animals' habitat is extremely dificult, especially remote areas, due to not only geographical problems but also lack of human resources, which is succeptible to rise of illegitimate poaching that make significantly negative impacts on extinction of these species. For another reason, constantly environmental changes that leads to loss of their habitat also play an important role to making wild animals' extinction. This means that these species would be definitely extinct since this process is a natural part of evolution that only keep strong animals which be able to deal with new living conditions after unexpected events, such as volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes.

Nevertheless, there are a great deal of solutions to keep these animals living on earth. First, by improving the policies of consuming in importation, exportation and even manufacture, governments take steps to saving wild animals. For instance, banning consuming on the products made from fur or skin of endangered animals or even imposing heavier sentences act as an deterrent for either poaching or over-hunting, which help to safeguard wild animals in remote areas from extinction due to human greed. Second, individual citizen is also be able to contribute to protecting threatened animals since their activities affect directly of indirectly to these species habitat. Actually, in order to improve this situations, it is so important for human to react to maintain threatened wild animals' living environment, such as minimizing use of plastic, using public transportation instead of private vehicles, which ensure a healthy conditions for these species.

In conclusion, even though the existance of wild animals is endagnered, there are various ways to improve this situation. If governments, non-profit organizations and every single person work closely together, these animals will be protected and extinct naturally as before.
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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

It is clear that increasing the number of animals close to extinction over the last few years is a subject of the extremely debatable topic due to its negative effects on human's lives. Given that this is one of the imperative worldwide problems, identifying the reasons behind this pattern is key to finding the solutions.

There are a number of   several reasons why this situation is becoming progressively worse. For one reason, man-made threats, like poaching and cultivation, are factors that drive to dramatically disappearancing forever of some species. In fact, according to recent reports, the management of endangered animals' habitat is extremely dificult, especially remote areas, due to not only geographical problems but also lack of human resources, which is succeptible to rise of illegitimate poaching that make significantly negative impacts on the extinction of these species. For another reason, constantly environmental changes that leads to loss of their habitat also play an important role in making wild animals' extinction. This means that these species would be definitely extinct since this process is a natural part of the evolution that only keep strong animals which be able to deal with new living conditions after unexpected events, such as volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes.

Nevertheless, there is a great deal of solutions to keep these animals living on earth. First, by improving the policies of consuming in importation, exportation and even manufacture, governments take steps to saving wild animals. For instance, banning consuming on the products made from fur or skin of endangered animals or even imposing heavier sentences act as a deterrent for either poaching or over-hunting, which help to safeguard wild animals in remote areas from extinction due to human greed. Second, the individual citizen is also be able to contribute to protecting threatened animals since their activities affect directly or indirectly to these species habitat. Actually, in order to improve this situations, it is so important for human to react to maintain threatened wild animals' living environment, such as minimizing the use of plastic, using public transportation instead of private vehicles, which ensure a healthy conditions for these species.

In conclusion, even though the existance of wild animals is endagnered, there are various ways to improve this situation. If governments, non-profit organizations and every single person work closely together, these animals will be protected and extinct naturally as before.

 

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Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_-Endangered-species.docx

CRITERIA

GRADE

COMMENT

Task Achivement

        5.5

• addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others

• presents a relevant position although the conclusions may
become unclear or repetitive
• presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail

Coherence and Cohension

5.5

• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall progression

• uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within
and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
• may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
• uses paragraphing, but not always logically

Lexical Resource

5.5

• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some
inaccuracy
• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but
they do not impede communication

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5

• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences

• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

Overall

       5.5

Overall, you have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes in your essay. You have to read more essay samples, check your mistakes, gain more vocabulary related to IELTS topics and consistently practice writing.

You have great potential, try your best.

 

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Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
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