IELTS Task 1_Line Graph_Hình ảnh đề bài em post ở dưới ạ.
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The line graph shows changes in the figure for people who travel by different means of transport within 60 years from 1970 to 2030.

Overall, it is clear that car is always the first choice of travellers during the observed peroid. Also, while the commuters of car and train increase dramatically, the number of people traveling by bus decreases considerably.

In 1970, car was the most popular form of transportation (approximately 5 milions). Bus ranked the second position with over 4 milions of users. However, in 2000, there was a slight frop in number of people who choose bus.

By 2030, it is anticipated that people continue showing their preference in cars (over 9 milions of commuters). Train is also predicted to soar remarkably from around 2 milions to nearly 5 milions users. By contrast, the number of passengers who travel by bus is expected to become less common and fall sharply to 2 milions.

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Hello Khanh Nguyen: Bạn post thêm hình vào bài, mọi người có thể đóng góp ý kiến tốt hơn nhé.

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Dạ vâng ạ, lúc post em có để vào nhưng ko hiểu sao ko có
Bạn gửi qua mail: [email protected] mình post hộ nhé, hoặc có thể thử post lại by yourself :D
Dạ e đã thêm phần hình ảnh ở phần comment rồi a
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Hi Khanh Nguyen

Bài viết của bạn bố cục bài và chia ý rõ ràng. Diễn đạt qua tiếng anh thì chưa được smooth lắm, còn lỗi chính tã và lỗi ngữ pháp, phải dùng thi quá khứ đơn và quá khứ hoàn thành tiếp diễn.

Mình có góp ý chi tiết ở dưới bạn xem qua nhé :)

The line graph shows changes in the figure for people who travel by different means of transport within 60 years from 1970 to 2030. 

Overall, it is clear that car => car vehicle is always the first choice of travellers => travelers during the observed peroid => period of time/ period. Also, while the commuters of car and train => car and train passengers increase dramatically, the number of people traveling by bus decreases considerably.

In 1970, car was the most popular form of transportation => which five million commuters daily (approximately 5 milions). Following, bus commuters ranked at the second => Bus ranked the second position with over 4 milions of users. However, in 2000, there was a slight frop drop in the number of people who choose ( giai đoạn này dùng thì quá khứ nhé) chose bus. 

By 2030, it is anticipated that people continue showing their preference in cars (over 9 milions => millions of commuters). The Train is also predicted to soar remarkably from around 2 milions => millions to nearly 5 milions millions in users. By contrast, the number of passengers who travel by bus is expected to become less common and fall sharply to 2 milions => millions

 

 

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Dạ vâng em cảm ơn anh nhiều lắm ạ, anh có thể ước chừng cho em band điểm đc ko ạ :))
Và anh ơi ko pải million mình ko thêm s ạ ?

Hi Khanh Nguyen

Ohm cái đó mình viết zậy là sai rồi á, thank bạn :))

Dưới đây mình có viết lại một bài mới bạn thử take a look:

The line graph compares the regular figure for British people who move daily by car, bus, and train from 1970 to 2030.
 
It is clear that while the numbers of people travel by car and train has been increasing moderately, the figure for train passengers has been decreasing slightly in the period of time.
 
In 1970, There were a 5 million automobile commuters daily. This was higher than the number who used bus or train at 4 million and 3 million corresponding. By 2000, the figures for car and train commuters had risen to 3 million and 7 million respectively. Passengers of train had remained throughout the period.
The years from 2000 to 2010, the number of commuters in three kinds of transport experienced a plateau. In 2030, the figures for car and train commuters were forecasted rising to 9 million and 6 million respectively. In contrast, the figure for train passengers was predicted falling to 3 million at the end of the period.
 
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Số liệu của mình nếu dưới 10 mình phải viết chữ, trên 10 mình mới viết số á.

Cái thứ hai nữa là five milion không có "s", mình có tìm được vid này để giải thích bạn xem thử. Tất cả số liệu phí trên milion đều bỏ "s" nha

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDp0QYI_SHI.
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À dạ vậy ạ, vì em đọc bài mẫu là ngta ghi 5 millions ấy ạ :))) không biết cái nào mới đúng :v
Ừm mình mới dò trong quyển Basic ielts for writing cũng viết vậy á. Lỗi đó mình đi học giáo viên sửa nên mình mới để ý, tại đó là lỗi sai hay gặp á. Bạn xem trong mấy quyển sách mẫu day writing thử :3.
À vậy hả, mình cảm ơn nhiều nha. Đều bạn ơi thế percent ấy mình ghi 58% đc hăm hay là phải 58 percent =))
Mình nghĩ % bình thường thoi bạn ưi, không cần phải bị chó cắn thì gặp chó đều sợ đâu =))

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