ip.chuawriting
Post bài mới
Thành viên với 100 points trở lên sẽ được hổ trợ discount 40% khóa IELTS PREMIUM 6.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

2.3k Bài viết

3.3k Góp ý

2k bình luận

26.3k thành viên

Most of people have their own hobbies, how about your? What are your hobbies? to me, my hobbies are playing badminton and reading cooking books

first of my hobby is playing badminton., do you like badminton? I play badminton in the afernoon whhen i have free time or after returning from my work, playing badminton keep my bodyy in constant motion and relieve stress

and other hobby is reading books especially in cooking books, you know it help me to cook a lot of exciting dishes

i don't know what are your  hobbies? but to me playing badminton is the best way to relieve my stress and have good health

and cooking , are you a good cook?if not why don't you find and read a cooking book it help you to make more delicious meals to serve your family's members. i'm sure that they will love you more
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi trong Other bởi (0 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

Xin vui lòng đăng nhập hoặc đăng ký để góp ý bài viết này.

2 góp ý

–1 phiếu
Hi Yen, I love your enthusiasm, I'm not really good at writing English but I hope I can help you a little with my skills aquired for a long time.
 
Most of the  people have their own hobbies. How about you? What are your hobbies? To me, my hobbies are playing badminton and reading cooking books.
Remember: The structure: Most of the people=most people
                  How about you, not your, or you can say how about yours?
                  Use capital letter at the beginning of each sentence.

First of all my hobby is playing badminton., do you like badminton? I play badminton in the afernoon whhen i have free time or after returning from my work, playing badminton keeps my bodyy in constant motion and relieves stress.
Remember: Lots of mistakes in dictation, so you need to think over them more carefully
                  Avoid asking too many questions in your writing, because you are writing, not presenting.
                  Use the tenses more cautiously.

My other hobby is reading books especially in cooking books, you know it helps me to cook a lot of exciting dishes
Remember: when you want to mention another idea in your writing, put it in a new paragraph.

i don't know what your  hobbies are? but to me playing badminton is the best way to relieve my stress and have good health 
Remember: This one is not really soft honestly, you shouldn't say I don't know what your hobbies are, as you have mentioned it once at the introduction. Please use capital letter.

and cooking , are you a good cook?if not why don't you find and read a cooking book it helps you to make more delicious meals to serve your family's members. i'm sure that they will love you more
 
In my opinion, may be you are a beginner, so it's totally OK when you can write like this. But there are some mistakes and when you sit an exam, please don't use any structures that you don't know clearly, as you'll lose some points. However, try more. Wish you success!!!
 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (14 điểm)
cảm ơn bạn nhiều, thật sự thì mình nghĩ sao thì viết ra như vậy, chắc tại mình chưa bao giờ viết paragraph, hoặc essay, mình chỉ toàn đọc hiểu thui, đó là lý do mà mình mắc lỗi tenses và structures, thật sự cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều vì đã chữa wrtiting cho mình
hông có gì đâu Yến ạ, mình thiếu kĩ năng nào thì mình trau dồi cái đó, writing nó cần thời gian

Chúc Yến thành công nhé
–1 phiếu
Mình có biết một chút về paraphase với từ vựng band điểm cao hơn, nhưng mình biết từ vựng bên speaking à, hông biết bên writing như thế nào. Thêm nữa mình thử phát triển ý theo cách bên speaking luôn bạn tham khảo thử nha :3
  • "my hobbies" được lặp lại hơi nhiều, bạn có thể đổi "to me, my hobbies are playing badminton and reading cooking books" thành "To me, I'm interested in = I'm keen on =  I'm quite into = I'm a fan of playing badminton..."
  • " I play badminton in the afernoon whhen i have free time or after returning from my work, playing badminton keep my bodyy in constant motion and relieve stress" => Each every single day, after finishing my heavy workloads, I usually spend my freetime = chilling time = leisure time on playing badminton. Playing badminton with energetic movements help me strengthen my muscle = maintain good health = avoid obesity = help me get into shape  and take away pressure and tension out of the world = relieve my all worries = calm  my busy mind = free me from all worries.
  • "and other hobby is reading books especially in cooking books, you know it help me to cook a lot of exciting dishes" => "And my other hobby is reading books, esspecially cooking ones from many famous = well known chefs all over the world. I feel happy = feel contented to prepare delicious home cook meals for my beloved = best loved family members". 
  • "i'm sure that they will love you more" => I'm sure that It's a good way to bond our family member's relationship with wonderful memmories. (bond relationship = thắt chặt tình cảm).

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (70 điểm)

Thanks for reading and correcting my writing, It's really helpful for me. enlightened  laugh


Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

Tham khảo các bài viết tương tự

1 góp ý
đã hỏi 30 Tháng 9, 2015 trong Other bởi huonglth (0 điểm)
...