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Hello! everybody. My name is Han. My favorite is listening to music, playing volleyball and reading tech news in free time. I'm studying at an IT university. And I want to be a good programmer in a few years because I have a passion for technology and computers. I know that I will have to try a lot. I have to study well and have good soft skills as well as good communication in English to become a programmer. No matter how difficult, I will try my best.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi trong Other bởi (4 điểm)
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2 góp ý

+1 phiếu
 
góp ý hay nhất

Hi Han, I’m so glad to see your enthusiasm and passion through your writing. However, I hope I can help you at some points, though the whole thing is quite good.

Hello everybody! My name is Han. My favorite hobbies are (when saying about the things you love, you should put one word generally indicating those things before listing them, and remember to use the plural form of be) listening to music, playing volleyball and reading tech news in free time. I'm studying in an IT university. And I want to be a good programmer in a few years from now because I have a passion for technology and computers. I know that I will have to try a lot. I have to study well and have good soft skills as well as good communication in English to become a programmer. No matter how difficult it is, I will try my best.

In your writing, you use a lot of simple sentences, I suggest using linking words and phrasal verbs more, and try to use complex sentences too. Replace the words that are repeated a lot, like ‘good’, for instance. There are some grammatical points but it’s Ok if it’s your speaking. In total, you are nearly perfect!!!

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (20 điểm)
được bầu chọn là bài viết hay nhất bởi
+1 phiếu
Hi hanbee, I could easily feel your internal determination of which I was actually lacking way back when. Good luck!
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (32 điểm)

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Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)
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