Fast food is becoming popular in today’s era. However, it is not beneficial for people’s health [w1] . I strong believe the number of health risk; it is related to high fast food consumption [w2]. I totally agree that government should increase a tax on junk food. [w3]
I strong believe that imposing a tax for this kind of food and this can reduce the number of health problems of humankind [w4]. Firstly, fast food chain has the most calories, this leads to obese or heart problem [w5]. For example, in 2004, it is estimated that nine million between the ages of 6-18 are obese [w6]. This includes overweight adults, and obese adults [w7].
Secondly, fast food leads to a lot of health problem [w8]. Therefore, government impose heavy tax on this kind of food which have a few benefits [w9]. The cost tax can be used as a tool to raise awareness of the harmful effects of junk food. For example, Officials in India’s southern state of Kerala have placed a tax on fast food, at 14.5 percent at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and Burger Ki [w10]. Moreover, in some countries are not imposing a tax for fast food restaurant, however, they impose a higher tax for fat or sugar because the condition of being grossly fat and the problem of obesity among children when they eat fast food and drink soda too much. [w11]
In conclusion, fast food help people save their time when they are a bit hectic. [w12] However, I would agree that governments should be imposing a hefty tax for fast food because when people have a high consumption of junk and unhealthy food, it causes some diseases like obesity and cardiovascular disease [w13].
[w1] lỗi ngữ pháp today’s era à today’s area
[w2]viết lại câu: I strong believe the number of health risk; it is related to high fast food consumption à I strong believe health risks are related to high fast food consumption
[w3] paraphrase governmentà authority/ministry
Bỏ mạo từ ‘a’ trong câu increase a tax on junk food
[w4] - lặp từ ‘I strong believe”
Thêm dấu phẩy trước and : I strong believe that imposing a tax for this kind of food, and this can reduce the number of health problems of humankind
Tax “on” chứ không phải là tax for
[w5] problem thêm s à problems / issues
[w8] fast food leads to a lot of health problem àeating too much fast food can leads to a lot of health problem
[w9] paraphrase “this kind of food” à convenient food
which have a few benefits: Tránh viết câu tuyệt đối
[w10] The cost tax là không đúng mà là việc tăng thuế lên fast food àboosting tax can…..
[w11] thêm dấu phẩy trước chữ when
[w13] should be imposing àshould impose
Thừa disease cuối câu