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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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The Internet is widely access around the world and provides us lots of information. Whether the information creates more benefits or problem is a hotly debated. Personally, I think these information would give us more problems than benefits. Information could make students lazier when doing their works, give teenage access to depraved website or even be incorrect.

 

Firstly, in the age of technology, more and more teachers allow students to use computer for their homework. This gives students the opportunity to search online for information about their assignment. In the end, all the student did was copy the information and paste it as their work. Over the course of time, the student will not acquire any knowledge they have learned over the semester and fail on their tests and exams. For instance, a student who constantly using Wikipedia to do his history homework won’t remember any detail about historic events and eventually, he will fail on his final exam. A student should do his homework by himself and online source should only be use as a reference. The enormous amount of information on the Internet has encouraged student to practice the act of plagiarism.

 

Secondly, as teenage starting to hit puberty, their hormone increase, making them sexually active. However, teenager who hasn’t reached the age of 18 can not practice sex and they have to seek for a different solution. This is when teenager starts to search online for depraved material. Not only will this affect the young, developing mind but also make bad impacts on the teenager academic course. Instead of spending time doing their homework, student incessantly surf the web to watch adult video and eventually fail their class. Also, websites are not making effort to stop the underage from viewing these adult programs, making them easily accessible for teenager.

 

Finally, information on the web is subjective and unreliable. Information can be created by anyone, anywhere in the world, so sometime they can be bias. For example, the situation in the Gaza is so controversial, but there several website which support only one side and oppose to the other instead of taking a neutral stand. Also the author of most articles is unknown, therefore, we can not trust every information we read on the web. Like Wikipedia, a website that provides articles made by many anonymous users and anyone can access or change the information inside that article. Although constantly updated, the information on the Internet can not be considered as trustworthy.

 

In conclusion, though large amount of information may be beneficial, they will generate more problems in the long run, including unreliable information, depraved materials and promotion of laziness. It is highly recommend that you take these problems for account before using the Internet.

 
Rating: 8.23
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The Internet is widely access => accessed  around the world and provides us lots of information. Whether the information creates more benefits or problem is a hotly=> hot debated. Personally, I think these information would give us more problems than benefits. Information could make students lazier when doing their works, give teenage access to depraved website or even be incorrect (lỗi parallel words: depraved website là noun phrase thì đằng sau "or" cũng phải là noun phrase). Firstly, in the age of technology, more and more teachers allow students to use computer for their homework. This gives students the opportunity to search online for information about their assignment. In the end, all the student did was copy => to copy the information and paste it as their work. Over the course of time, the student will not acquire any knowledge they have learned over the semester and fail on their tests and exams. For instance, a student who constantly using Wikipedia to do his history homework won’t remember any detail about historic events and eventually, he will fail on his final exam. A student should do his homework by himself and online source should only be use as a reference. The enormous amount of information on the Internet has encouraged student to practice the act of plagiarism. Secondly, as teenage starting to hit puberty, their hormone increase, making them sexually active. However, teenager who hasn’t reached the age of 18 can not practice sex and they have to seek for a different solution. This is when teenager starts to search online for depraved material. Not only will this affect the young, developing mind(s) but also make bad impacts on the teenager academic course. Instead of spending time doing their homework, student incessantly surf the web to watch adult video(s) and eventually fail their class(es). Also, websites are not making effort to stop the underage (underaged) from viewing these adult programs, making them easily accessible for teenager. Finally, information on the web is subjective and unreliable. Information can be created by anyone, anywhere in the world, so sometime they can be bias. For example, the situation in the Gaza is so controversial, but there several website(s) which support only one side and oppose to the other instead of taking a neutral stand. Also the author of most articles is unknown, therefore, we can not trust every information we read on the web. Like Wikipedia, a website that provides articles made by many anonymous users and anyone can access or change the information inside that article. Although constantly updated (despite oi constantly updated. although chỉ dùng cho mệnh đề), the information on the Internet can not be considered as trustworthy. In conclusion, though large amount of information may be beneficial, they will generate more problems in the long run, including unreliable information, depraved materials and promotion of laziness. It is highly recommend(ed) that you take these problems for account before using the Internet.

Rating: 9.00
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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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