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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

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There are four advantages that have been sugessted from using Internet. Firstly, it provides user with broad knowledge in every fields quickly. Instead of wasting time to find it in libraries, you can get information, approach various data everywhere and whenever. Secondly, it is undeniable that Internet help people easily to contact with family, friends, colleagues and so on. Specially, in some emergency situation, users also connect rapidly  with doctors, professors  or other useful services . Thirdly, Interner have been made use of trading ,thus buying and selling online from the comfort of their home is a wonderful benefits. Last but not least, Relaxing and entertainment is a advantage of great significance helping to decrease one's streess from working or studying. In sum, Internet is amazing invention for modern life.
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There are four advantages that have been sugessted(suggested) from using Internet. Firstly, it provides users with broad knowledge in every fields quickly(2). Instead of wasting time to find it in libraries, you can get information, approach various data everywhere and whenever(3). Secondly, it is undeniable that the Internet helps people easily to contact with family, friends, colleagues and so on. Specially, in some emergencies, users also connect rapidly  with doctors, professors  or other useful services . Thirdly,the Interner have been made use of trading ,thus buying and selling online from the comfort of their home is a wonderful benefits. Last but not least, Relaxing and entertainment is a (are)advantage of great significance helping to decrease one's streess (stress) from working or studying. In sum, Internet is amazing invention for modern life. 

-I think you are affected by mother tongue very much.

-your idea is not clear and inconclusive

-phrase"advantage of great significance" can be replaced by :greatly significant benefits

-sentence two can be written: The Internet helps people to access to information faster and more effective. 

-sentence three:Smart devices are portable ,therefofe you can take them anywhere you want . No matter where you are, you can learn easily and save time.

-the third and forth point are very short. you don't have supporting sentence

hope you have better writting!

 






mother tongue
 

 

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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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