IELTS 10 Writing Test 1 Writing Task 2 - Chữa Writing miễn phí
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Hello guys, I happened to stumble on this website and found it really useful so I want to get started with my first writing. Actually I've just begun my IELTS practice in 2 weeks, I do hope I can get more improvements in my writing skill from your kindness <3

Topic: It is important for children learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

 

There is the significant number of parents applying many types of punishment to their children educate them how to distinguish from the right and wrong. As a person who used to be punished by my parents when I was a child, I strongly disagree with this idea. In the following paragraphs I shall put my reasons to support my views.

There are two many reasons why teachers and parents should not treat their children harshly. The first one is that on the way of growing up, a child usually approach new varied things everyday which makes them not have enough awareness and self-control to certainly recognize what is true and false. Children have rights to discover everything and make mistakes. Secondly, if the kids are punished in a wrong way, it will seriously affect to their total process of development when they grow up. For example, whenever a child cannot finish his bowl of rice before 8pm, then mother tries to put as more as rice into her kid’s mouth as possible, leading to the fear of the child when the dinner time comes.

About the ways of punishments, I think it would be divided into 2 stages. Firstly, when the behavior of a child goes wrong at the first time approaching the problems, their family and teaches should explain clearly the reasons why their acts are unacceptable and they should not repeat the mistakes. Also the ways to fix the bad things they just have done must be included. This leads to the second stage which is if the kid are going to repeat their bad haviours, this time is truly their faults. Parents and schools need to punish their children as the way they have told from the beginning.

In summary, for the strong reasons I have mentioned above, I significantly believe that we have many ways to educate the children from the very young age. The most important thing is that we should teach and guide them in appropriate methods so that the children have opportunities to develop their knowledge and skills as best as a they can.

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applying many types of punishment to their children educate them how to distinguish from the right and wrong -> in order to educate

two many reasons -> two main reasons

a child usually approach -> approaches

 things everyday which makes them -> make them

Secondly -> there is no "firstly" or 'first of all", you can change to "another explaination is..."

as much rice as possible

when the behavior of a child goes wrong ...their family and teaches should explain clearly-> his or her family and teachers

as the way they have told from the beginning.-> they were told

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