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task1_1
The graph illustrates the birth rates of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000. 
As can be seen, China’s birth rate increased from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935. Then, the figure go down 5% in 1940 and it remain steady over the next year. After that, it rose sharply to reach a peak of 20% in 1950. However, a haft of decades later, the birth rate of China fell suddenly to 10 % in 1965. Then, it falling to about 2% in 2000. 
Over the same time, USA had similar the birth rate of 12% to that of China in 1920. In the next years, the birth rate fell sharply to below 5% . Then, it rose suddenly to reach the highest point of 15% during 80 year period . In contrast, the figure go down significantly to 7% in next years.
Overall, the birth rate of USA is higher than China’s birth rate especially after 1950 but the birth rate of both countries followed a similar trend.
 
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The graph illustrates the birth rates of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000. 

[W1]

As can be seen, China’s birth rate increased from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935. Then[W2] , the figure go[W3]  down 5% in 1940 and it remain[W4]  steady over the next year[W5] . After that, it rose sharply to reach a peak of 20% in 1950. However, a haft[W6]  of decades later, the birth rate of China fell suddenly to 10 % in 1965. Then[W7] , it falling[W8]  to about 2% in 2000. 

Over the same time, USA had similar the birth rate of 12%[W9]  to that of China in 1920[W10] . In the next years[W11] , the birth rate fell sharply to below 5% . Then[W12] , it rose suddenly to reach the highest point of 15% during 80 year period . In contrast[W13] , the figure go[W14]  down significantly to 7% in next years[W15] .

Overall, the birth rate of USA is[W16]  higher than China’s birth rate especially after 1950 but the birth rate of both countries followed a similar trend.


 [W1]Expression suggestion: after paraphase the question statement, you should add OVERVIEW ( SIMON- TASK 1 STRUCTURE)

 [W2]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W3]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ went

 [W4]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ remained’

 [W5]Expression error:  ‘’ over the next five years’’

 [W6]Spelling error: half

 [W7]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W8]Grammar error: it fell to …

Falling  subject + tobe +Ving

 [W9]Expression error: 10% # 12%, you can not use ‘’had similar the birth rate.

 [W10]Expression suggestion: the USA had similar figure compared with China in term of birth rate.

 [W11]Expression suggestion: ‘’ in the next five years.

 [W12]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W13]Expression suggestion: ‘ in contrast’’ just use when you compare with another subject.

 [W14]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ went

 [W15]Expression suggestion: ‘’ in the next five years.

 [W16]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ was’

 

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