Writing about my family - Chữa Writing miễn phí
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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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Hello, My name is Thien, Iam 43 years old. I live Long Tuyen district in Cantho city. There are four people in my little family. They are my wife, my son, my daughter and me. My wife is a teacher. She works in a Long Hoa Primary school. Her name is Anh and she is 40 years old. She is short and slim. She has got  long, black hair and black eyes. She like go shopping and cooking. She cooks very good. I think she is very beautiful! My son is a student. His name is Long. He is 16 years old. He studies at Bui Huu Nghia High school. And he is tall and strong. He has got short, black and brown eyes. My daughter is a pretty girl. Her name is Hoa. She is tall and she has got long, black hair and brown eyes, too. She is students at Binh Thuy Secondary school. My son and my daughter are tall but my son taller than my daughter. And Iam a teacher, too. Iam a ID teacher at Long Tuyen 2 Primary school. I have  a short and black hair. I taller than my son and my daughter. And I think I'm still strong and handsome. I like go out with my family. I love my wife because she always took care of me and our children.

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Hello, my name is Thien, I am 43 years old. I live (in) Long Tuyen district in Can Tho city. There are four people in my little family. They are ( nên bỏ vì rườm rà dễ gây chán), my wife, my son my daughter and me. My wife is a teacher, she works in a Long Hoa Primary school. Her name is Anh and she is 40 years old ( đây là chi tiết chung của phần giới thiệu nên cần đưa lên trước). She is short and slim. She has got (???)  long black hair and black eyes. She likes go going shopping and cooking. She cooks very good ( Her meals are always very good). 

Còn lại thì được rồi nhưng bạn cố gắng ghép các câu đơn lại với nhau để cho ngắn gọn. Và giới thiệu người thì thường nói theo thứ tự tên, tuổi, ngoại hình chung, một số ngoại hình chung nổi bật, nghề nghiệp, sở thích, nhận xét bản thân.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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Hello, My name is Thien and I am 43 years old. I live on Long Tuyen district in Cantho city. There are four people in my little family. They are my wife, my son, my daughter and me. My wife is a teacher. She works in  Long Hoa Primary school. Her name is Anh and she is 40 years old. She is short and slim. She has a long, black hair and black eyes. She likes shopping and cooking. She cooks very well . I think she is very beautiful! My son is a student. His name is Long. He is 16 years old. He studies at Bui Huu Nghia High school. And he is tall and strong. He has a short, black hair and brown eyes. My daughter is a pretty girl. Her name is Hoa. She is tall and she has a long, black hair and brown eyes, too. She is  A student at Binh Thuy Secondary school. My son and my daughter are tall but my son is taller than my daughter. And I am a teacher. I am an ID teacher at Long Tuyen 2 Primary school. I have  a short and black hair. I'm taller than my son and my daughter. And I think I'm still strong and handsome. I like going out with my family. I love my wife because she always takes care of me and our children.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (23 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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