In many countries, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh a disadvantage?

Question

In the contemporary life, the question of whether it would better for the government take an urban planning of common places such as educational facilities, shopping mall, office building, and residential areas in separated regions remains a source of controversy. In my opinion, I believe that benefits of such arranging would overshadow downsides for some principal reasons below.

Firstly, there are several drawbacks of organizing these facilities in separated places of metropolitans. It is more likely that presidents tend to use frequently private vehicles to cover long distances to go shopping mall or to go their workplaces. Resultantly, gas emission from vehicles leads to the greenhouse effect, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. Besides, students might find it difficult to get school and as they ought to spend a great deal of time for their moving. This will put the arranging in the dilemma at some areas may be very near to school, some may be very far off which is unreasonable.

Nevertheless, I support the view of those who believe that the benefit of arranging the structure of metropolitan would outweigh the drawback. Many of us agree that setting separated regions with distinct purpose would effectively alleviate traffic congestion. When citizens are relocated for the living and working in certain areas, which is oriented following in the same direction. As a result, this mode of dividing would reduce the current traveling overload because it decreases in the increased of daily travelers on the main street during rush hours. Moreover, having this plan in urban areas, I believe that it would mitigate the population explosion in specific locations.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawback of having separated locations are eclipsed by the advantage for some considerable reasons mentioned above.

Answer 1

In the contemporary life, the question of whether it would better [W1] for the government take an urban planning of common places[W2]  such as educational facilities, shopping mall, office building, and residential areas in separated regions remains a source of controversy. [W3] In my opinion, I believe that benefits of such arranging[W4]  would overshadow downsides for some principal reasons below[W5] .

Firstly, there are several drawbacks of organizing these facilities in separated places of metropolitans. It is more likely that presidents tend to use frequently private vehicles to cover long distances to go shopping mall or to go their workplaces[W6] . Resultantly, gas emission from vehicles[W7]  leads to the greenhouse effect, which may have a devastating effect[W8]  on the planet in the future. Besides, students might find it difficult to get school and as they ought to spend a great deal of time for their moving[W9] . This will put the arranging in the dilemma[W10]  at some areas may be very near to school, some may be very far off which is [W11] unreasonable.

Nevertheless, I support the view of those[W12]  who believe that the benefit of arranging the structure of metropolitan would outweigh the drawback[W13] . Many of us agree that setting separated regions with distinct purpose[W14]  would effectively alleviate traffic congestion. When citizens are relocated for the living and working in certain areas, which is oriented following in the same direction[W15] . As a result, this mode of dividing would reduce the current traveling overload because it decreases in the increased of daily travelers on the main street during rush hours[W16] . Moreover, having this plan in urban areas, I believe that it would mitigate the population explosion in specific locations.[W17]

In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawback of having separated locations are eclipsed by the advantage for some considerable reasons mentioned above.

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 [W1]Grammar error: it would be better.

 [W2]Expression suggestion: take the urban with common area as school

 [W3]Expression error: elimiate these words

 [W4]Grammar error: such + subject (N)

 [W5]Expression error:  People come  from Governments and private companies prefer to design funtional urban areas as  residents , office, school zones. From my view I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawback

 [W6]Expression error: previous sentence you mention ‘ several drawbacks’. It should use the structure ‘ firstly, secondly, finally’

Presidents: what you means ?

Cover long distance: it is very weird to me

 [W7]Grammar error: NEED to add tobe => Gas emission is from vehicles

 [W8]Repeat word: => impact

 [W9]Grammar error: ‘ find it difficult’ => find a little difficulty, ‘ for their moving’ => for the movement

 [W10]Expression error: sorry I did not get what you mean

 [W11]Grammar error: in one sentence, you must use cosistently kind of verb

 [W12]Grammar error: => those people

 [W13]Grammar error: Benefit and drawback need to add S.

No need to use ‘ arranging ‘ b/c  the structure of metropolitan express fully meaning

 [W14]Grammar error: Many of us => many people; region is not suitable in this context, => zone, place etc

 [W15] Grammar error: Citizens is not suitable in this con text, suggest: residents.

Reference: In new urban , resident would live and work in certain areas .times and 7 times respectively. Over following fireighest in different yearss.

 [W16]Grammar error: have may error in this sentence. The content is not clear and some words are not necessary. You should review it carefully by yourself

 [W17]Expression error: population explosion and new urban are separated issues? How it affect to reduce resident ?