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The line graph depicts a comparison between the consumption of three categories of fast food eaten by Australian teenagers over 25 year period from 1975 to 2000. In general, there was a gradual fall in consuming fish and chips while pizza and hambergers had an opposite trend.

As the graph shows, the amount of fish and chips peaked at 100 times per year in 1975. Then, there was a fluctuation during period from 1975 to 1985 before standing at about 95 times. Following this, the need for fish and chips significantly decreased to a low of nearly 40 times in 2000.

By contrast, pizza and hamburgers became more popular and their expenditure substantially went up. Looking at the details, pizza’s consumption rised steadily from about 2 times in 1975 to over 80 times in 1995, though its figure leveled off from 1995 to 2000. Likewise, there was a considerable increase of hamburgers’ rate from 5 times to approximately 83 times. This rise was noticeable between 1975 and 1985 but the growth slowed during the remaining period.

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Theo ý kiến của mình, đây là dạng bài 3 line, bạn nên chia khổ thân bài theo năm để dễ so sánh số liệu hơn. Bạn tham khảo bài viết của mình nhé

The line graph compares the expenditure on three kinds of fast food which young people in Australia consumed from 1975 to 2000.

Overall, the consumption of hamburgers and pizza increased rapidly, while there was a significant decrease in the figure for fish and chips.

In the year 1975, the amount of fish and chips which was consumed was the highest, at exactly 100 times per year. The figures for hamburger and pizza were lower, at about 10 times and around 5 times respectively. 20 years later, the country witnessed a dramatic growth to 100 times in the consumption of hamburger, compared to nearly 85 times of pizza in 1995. By contrast, there was a remarkable decline in the expenditure on fish and chips, at approximately 50 times.

In 2000, the consumption of hamburger reached the highest point of the whole line graph, at over 100 times. The figure for pizza was lower, which remained stable at 85 times. However, fish and chips accounted for the lowest number with just under 40 times.

 

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Expression suggestion:

Introduction: paraphrase the question statement

Overview: Introduce two main points

Paragraph 3

Paragraph 4

The line graph depicts a comparison between the consumption of three categories of fast food [SC1] eaten by Australian teenagers over 25 year period from 1975 to 2000. [SC2] In general, there was a gradual fall [SC3] in consuming fish and chips while pizza and hambergers[SC4]  had an opposite trend.

As the graph shows[SC5] , the amount of fish and chips peaked at 100 times per year in 1975[SC6] . Then, there was a fluctuation during period from 1975 to 1985 before standing at about 95 times. Following this[SC7] , the need for fish and chips significantly decreased to a low of nearly 40 times in 2000.

By contrast, pizza and hamburgers became more popular and their expenditure [SC8] substantially went up. Looking at the details[SC9] , pizza’s consumption rised[SC10]  steadily from about 2 times in 1975 to over 80 times in 1995, though its figure leveled off [SC11] from 1995 to 2000. Likewise, there was a considerable increase of hamburgers’ rate [SC12] from 5 times to approximately 83 times. This rise[SC13]  was noticeable between 1975 and 1985 but the growth slowed during the remaining period.

 


 [SC1]Expression suggestion: => the consumption of junk food as Fish and Chips, Hamburgers and Pizza. 

 [SC2]Grammar error: Form period of ( a period of 25 years) or adj +period ( limited period, peak period)

 [SC3]Grammar error:  fall as Verb, could not use it as noun

=> a gradual decrease

 [SC4]Spelling error: Hamburgers

 [SC5]Expression suggestion: as paragraph 3 and 4, I seldomly see this form of describing

 [SC6]Expression suggestion: The sentence is not clear and not enough meaning.

Grammar error: Peak as Noun, you used it in wrong form.

=> the figure of selecting fish and chips was 100 times per year in 1975

 [SC7]Expression suggestion: => throughout of the remainder of time

 [SC8]Vocabulary error: you do not mention any subject as people due to these words is not suitable in context

 [SC9]Expression suggestion: these words should put in first of paragraph.

 [SC10]Spelling error: => rose

 [SC11]Expression suggestion:  strive to use academic word

=> retain, hold on

 [SC12]Grammar error: it was wrong, => eliminate ‘ rate’

 [SC13]Grammar error: rise as Verb, could not use it as Noun

 

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