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Nowadays, how technology has influenced people’s life is a major topic of concern. While I concede that technology has made our life complicated in some ways, I strongly believe that its benefits are far more significant.

 

There are some reasons why people say that life with technology has been problematic and they would like to live without this innovation. First, it is argued that technology has made people physically inactive and prone to develop several diseases. With the help of technology, people use cars and motorbikes to travel, and washing machine and vacuum cleaner to do housework, instead of their physical strength; as a result, the chance of getting disease like obesity has been increasingly higher. Moreover, the invention of Internet and devices like computers and mobile phones has been followed by the appearance of modern crimes, thus, people’s life may be exposed to a lot of dangers. These days, people using social media like Facebook or online service like Internet Banking would have a high chance of being stalked and hacked, resulting in the loss of personal information and private property, which may become a nuisance for several users.

 

However, it is undeniable that human has benefited from technology in several aspects. Thanks to the development of various means of media, it has been easier for people to broaden their minds about the world. It is often said that people could save a great deal of time learning about one country’s culture and history through Internet and other technological devices like television and radio, which could not only store a vast amount of information but also could deliver it smoothly with images and sounds.  Furthermore, advanced technology also contributes to the development of healthcare system, which helps doctors detect and cure serious diseases.  In hospitals, brain diseases like meningitis now can be easily diagnosed with high technology gadgets like CT (Computed Topography) or patients who struggle with breathing now can be supported by a machine called Respiratory Ventilator; as a result, patients’ lives may be improved and prolonged.

 

In conclusion, although some problems caused by technology may make human life more complicated, I am convinced that people’s life has been improved significantly thanks to the development of technology in several aspects, including knowledge expansion as well as diseases treatment methods.
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Nowadays, how technology has influenced people’s life is a major topic of concern. While I concede that technology has made our life complicated in some ways, I strongly believe that its benefits are far more significant.


There are some reasons why people say[SC1]  that life with technology has been problematic and they would like to live without this innovation. First, it is argued that technology has made people physically inactive[SC2]  and prone to develop several diseases. With the help of technology, people[SC3]  use cars and motorbikes to travel, and washing machine and vacuum cleaner to do housework, instead of their physical strength; [SC4] as a result, the chance of getting disease like obesity has been increasingly higher. Moreover, the invention of Internet and devices like computers and mobile phones has been followed by the appearance of modern crimes, thus, people’s life[SC5]  may be exposed to a lot of dangers. These days, people using[SC6]  social media like Facebook or online service like Internet Banking would have a high chance of being stalked and hacked, resulting in the loss of personal information and private property, which may become a nuisance for several users.

At this paragraph: you could follow the instruction:

1 Paraphrase sentence - 2 First idea - 3 Second idea 4 Third idea

However, it is undeniable that human has benefited[SC7]  from technology in several aspects. Thanks to the development of various means of media, [SC8] it has been easier for people to broaden their minds about the world. It is often said that people could save a great deal of time learning [SC9] about one country’s culture and history through Internet and other technological devices like television and radio, which could not [SC10] only store a vast amount of information but also could deliver it smoothly with images and sounds.  Furthermore, advanced technology also contributes to the development of healthcare system, which helps doctors detect and cure serious diseases.  In hospitals, brain diseases like meningitis now can be easily diagnosed with high technology gadgets like CT (Computed Topography) or patients who struggle with breathing now can be supported by a machine called Respiratory Ventilator; as a result, patients’ lives may be improved and prolonged.
 

At this paragraph: you could follow the instruction:

1 Paraphrase sentence - 2 Give idea - 3 Explain idea - 4 Give example to support idea

In conclusion, although some problems caused by technology may make human life [SC11] more complicated[W12] , I am convinced that people’s life has been improved significantly thanks to the development of technology in several aspects,[W13]  including knowledge expansion as well as diseases treatment methods.


 [SC1]Grammar error: => said

 [SC2]Grammar error: inactive and prone (adj) add + tobe

 [SC3]Expression suggestion: repeat word ‘people’ replace by individual, person adult etc

 [SC4]Grammar error: we do not use this symbol ‘;’ in ielts writing

 [SC5]Grammar error: => lives ( plural noun)

 [SC6]Grammar error: form N + V or N + tobe +Ving => correct use

 [SC7]Grammar error: benefits

 [SC8]Expression suggestion: do not use V as first word in sentence.

=> Information technology is assisting human being a lot in communication

 [SC9]Expression suggestion: : need to add proposition for

 [SC10]Grammar error: use could not lead to be wrong in meaning 

 [SC11]Expression suggestion: lives of people

 [W12]Grammar error: complicated (adj), you must add tobe before

 [W13]Expression suggestion: this sentence is not logicalm, itself did not support for any idea of yours or emphasize your opinion

 

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