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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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With the pace of digital age , there is a group of people who consider libraries for collective as a useless facility . I totally disagree with the statement.

There are several reasons why i think that public libraries still play an important role to our society . Firstly, you will be extremely guarded from online threat . In fact, there are billions of people who getting online to read book frequently . They may be normal citizens or hackers. If you are careless , those people can steal your password , your vital file , phone number or sexual harassment as well. Eventually , you can be killed or threaten by them. In order to avoid these obsession, they should come to the real libraries day by day and be aware of how dangerous the computer technology is.

Secondly, everyone will be quite open-minded without computer techonology. By going to public libraries where they can read books for real . Mankind do not have to stay in front of computer all day which would help people being back to face to face contact. Furthermore , reading books in libraries which is much less harmful to our eyesight. As a result , Coming to libraries continuosly is a conventional way to have a good life.

In conclusion , we can take many advantages from the digital age, but it does not men each country can totally remove libraries for collective from our daily life. Citizens should be aware of how to balance between online reading books and real books.
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With the pace of digital age, there is a group of people who consider libraries for collecting collective [W1] as a useless facility [W2] . I totally disagree with the statement.


There are several reasons why I i [W3] think that public libraries still play an important role to[W4]  our society . Firstly, you [W5] will be extremely guarded from online threat . In fact, there are billions of people who getting online to read book frequently . They may be normal citizens or hackers[W6] . If you are careless , those people can steal your password , your vital file , phone number or sexual harassment as well. Eventually , you can be killed or threaten [W7] by them. In order to avoid these obsession, they should come to the real libraries[W8]  day by day and be aware of how dangerous[W9]  the computer technology is. 
[W10] 
Secondly, everyone will be quite open-minded without computer techonology.[W11]  By going to public libraries where they can read books for real[W12]  . Mankind do not have to stay in front of computer all day which would help people being back to face to face contact. Furthermore , reading books in libraries which is much less harmful to our eyesight. As a result , Coming to libraries continuosly is a conventional way to have a good life. [W13] 

In conclusion , we can take many advantages from the digital age, but it does not men[W14]  each country can totally remove libraries for collective from our daily life. Citizens should be aware of how to balance between online reading books and real books.

 


 [W1]Expression problem: should delete for

 [W2]Grammar error:  useless facilities

 [W3]Grammar error: I

 [W4]Grammar error:  in

 [W5]In writing task2, do not use personal pronoun

 [W6]Expression error: normal citizen  and hacker are not equivalent

 [W7]Grammar error: threatened

 [W8]Expression suggesting: real  libraries is weird,  just use ‘ libraries’

 [W9]Grammar error: how danger

 [W10]Recommend to look carefully paragraph, all sentence is not link at level of the requirement, use a basis  range of  vocabularies

 [W11]Expression problem: I do not understand

 [W12]Expression error: it is weird

 [W13]This paragraph fail at express reasons and  explanation

 [W14]Grammar error: do/does + V not pronoun

 

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