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All the youth are demanded to do voluntary work in their spare time as it is thought to be constructive to the society as well as themselves. I, however, partially disagree with the given idea.

To begin with, schools require children to spend most of their time studying under high pressure. Not only do they have to cope with the great burden of homework but are also asked to overcome all examination with flying colors. Little do they have free time, so they should be encouraged to do enjoyable things such as playing sports, chatting with friends. These leisure activities seem to be strongly beneficial for reducing stress.

Another equally important view which needs to be taken into account is the fact that students are under obligation to do free work may lead to nothing but displeasure. As they are forced to do things that are considered as willing-work, it is thought to go against the teenagers' inherent values, fairness, and rights. Bad behaviors, disobedience and sass, for example, can stem from these feelings and result in many negative consequences. Presently, we should put voluntary activities at an encouraging-level for young generation feel more comfortable and make the most effective of them.

In conclusion, doing unpaid work is not needed making compulsory for the youth in my opinion. We should let them free and choose to help others.
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3 góp ý

+1 phiếu
 
góp ý hay nhất

 

All the youth are demanded to do voluntary work [W1] in their spare time as it is thought to be constructive to the society as well as themselves. I, however, partially disagree with the given idea.

To begin with schools require children to spend most of their time studying under high pressure. [W2] Not only do[W3]  they have to cope with the great burden of homework but are also asked to overcome all examination with flying colors[W4] . Little do they have free time[W5] , so they should be encouraged to do enjoyable things such as playing sports, chatting with friends. These leisure activities seem to be strongly beneficial for reducing stress.
[W6] 
Another equally important view which needs to be taken into account is the fact that students are under obligation to do free work may lead to nothing but displeasure[W7] . As they are forced to do things that are considered as willing-work[W8] , it is thought to go against the teenagers[W9] ' inherent values, fairness, and rights. Bad behaviors, disobedience and sass, for example, can stem from these feelings and result in many negative consequences[W10] . Presently, we should put voluntary activities at an encouraging-level for young generation feel more comfortable and make the most effective of them.
[W11] 
In conclusion, doing unpaid work is not needed making[W12]  compulsory for the youth in my opinion[W13] . We should let them free and choose to help others.

 


 [W1]Grammar error: works

 [W2]Expression suggesting: school’s requirements force children to use almost time in daily for curriculum

 [W3]Grammar error: delete word do’

 [W4]Expression suggesting: it should be single sentence, and I do no understand your idea,  sorry :)

 [W5]Expression problem: use do, it always a question sentence, it should children have a little free time

 [W6]The paragraph is short, do not achieve volume of words of task 2. Your idea is not clear, then do not explain after given reasons. All sentence is not linked

 [W7]Expression problem: too long, not clear, lead to grammar error: I suggested: Another view that, student’s obligation is to do voluntary task which lead to nowhere and be displeasure

 [W8]Expression problem: do not understand idea, sorry :)

 [W9]Grammar error: it is not clear subject, delete “go” ‘ the’

 [W10]Grammar structure: the setence lack subject

 [W11]In writing task 2, prefer to do not use pronoun and long sentence, recommend:  voluntary activities should be couraged instead be forced to young generation

 [W12]Grammar error: To make

 [W13]Expression suggesting: do use ‘ in my opinion’ in this paragraph

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (279 điểm)
được bầu chọn là bài viết hay nhất bởi
0 phiếu

All the youth are demanded to do voluntary work in their spare time as it is thought to be constructive to the society as well as themselves. I, however, partially disagree with the given idea.

To begin with, schools require children to spend most of their time studying under high pressure. Not only do they have to cope with the great burden of homework but are also asked to overcome all examination with flying colors. Little do they have free time, so they should be encouraged to do enjoyable things such as playing sports, chatting with friends. These leisure activities seem to be strongly beneficial for reducing stress.

Another equally important view which needs to be taken into account is the fact that students are under obligation to do free work may lead to nothing but displeasure. As they are forced to do things that are considered as willing-work, it is thought to go against the teenagers' inherent values, fairness, and rights. Bad behaviors, disobedience and sass, for example, can stem from these feelings and result in many negative consequences. Presently, we should put voluntary activities at an encouraging-level for young generation feel more comfortable and make the most effective of them.

In conclusion, doing unpaid work is not needed making compulsory for the youth in my opinion. We should let them free and choose to help others.

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (25 điểm)
0 phiếu

All the youth are demanded to do voluntary work in their spare time as it is thought to be constructive to the society as well as themselves. I, however, partially disagree with the given idea.

To begin with, schools require children to spend most of their time studying under high pressure. Not only do they have to cope with the great burden of homework but are also asked to overcome all examination with flying colors. Little do they have free time, so they should be encouraged to do enjoyable things such as playing sports, chatting with friends. These leisure activities seem to be strongly beneficial for reducing stress.

Another equally important view which needs to be taken into account is the fact that students are under obligation to do free work may lead to nothing but displeasure. As they are forced to do things that are considered as willing-work, it is thought to go against the teenagers' inherent values, fairness, and rights. Bad behaviors, disobedience and sass, for example, can stem from these feelings and result in many negative consequences. Presently, we should put voluntary activities at an encouraging-level for young generation feel more comfortable and make the most effective of them.

In conclusion, doing unpaid work is not needed making compulsory for the youth in my opinion. We should let them free and choose to help others.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (23 điểm)

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