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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

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Hello everybody,my name is william i am twelve  years old.i'm study in Loc Son secondary school.now i will tell you about my best friend.his name's luan .he was born at eighth of november . He study in class 6a1 in the same school with me . He has short black hair and big eyes when he smile there are many teeth  appear sometimes we are speak english toghether because our favorite subject is english. At the weekend luan and me go to the park to play sports we are play during the day . It is so fun . When i don't know homework he helps me alot. At school luan is talkative but i like him (not love ) i hope our friendship is forever
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đã hỏi trong Other bởi (-3 điểm)
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Hello everybody,my name is william i am twelve  years old.i'm study in Loc Son secondary school.now i will tell you about my best friend.his name is luan .he was born at eighth of november . He study in class 6a1 at the same school with me . He has short black hair and big eyes when he smile there are many teeth  appear sometimes we are(bỏ are)speak english toghether because our favorite subject is english. At the weekend luan and i go to the park to play sports we are bỏ are play during the day . It is so fun . When i don't know how to do my homework he helps me alot. At school luan is talkative.i like him (not love ) i hope our friendship willt last forever

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (12 điểm)
0 phiếu

Hello everybody,my name is william i am twelve  years old.i'm study in Loc Son secondary school.now i will tell you about my best friend.  everyone of us has at least a best friend to share happiness and sadness. So do I .his name's luan .he was born at eighth of november . He study studies in class 6a1 in the same school with me . He has short black hair and big eyes when he smiles there are many teeth  appear sometimes we are speak english toghether because our favorite subject is english. At the weekend luan and me go to the park to play sports we are play during the day . It is so fun . When i don't know homework (nên viết là When i have troubles in doing homework) he helps me a lot. At school luan is talkative but i like him (not love ) i hope our friendship is ( will last ) forever
 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (13 điểm)
0 phiếu

Hello everybody, my name is William and I am twelve years old. I am studying at Loc Son Secondary school. Now I will tell you about my best friend. His name is Luan. He was born at eighth of November. He studies at class 6a1 in the same school with me. He has short black hair and big eyes when he smiles there are many teeth appear sometimes we speak English together because our favorite subject is English. At the weekend, Luan and I go to the park to play sports. We play all day. It is so fun. When I am not able to finish my homework he helps me a lot. At school Luan is talkative but I like him and  I hope our friendship is forever.

- Chú ý viết hoa tên người, đầu câu

- Động từ phải phù hợp với chủ ngữ

- Trước động từ không có tobe

- Trong cụm chủ ngữ không đổi chữ ngữ sau thành tân ngữ

- Không được để 2 câu đơn trở lên đứng cạnh nhau khi không có từ nối. Một là thêm từ nối câu vào hai là phải tách câu ra nếu như không thể nối câu

- Viết văn không cần giải thích vì sợ mọi người hiểu lầm rằng mình thích con trai mà nghĩ gay đâu nha.

- Cái cuối nè, văn nói thì viết tắt không sao nhưng văn viết người ta kỵ viết tắt lắm nha.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (23 điểm)
0 phiếu
Hello everybody,my name is william and i am twelve  years old.i'm studying in Loc Son secondary school.now i will tell you about my best friend.his name's luan .he was born at eighth of november . He study in class 6a1 in the same school with me . He has short black hair and big eyeswhen he smile there are many teeth  appear sometimes we are (bỏ) speak english toghether because our favorite subject is english. At the weekend luan and me go to the park to play sports .We are (bỏ) play during the day . It is so fun . When i don't know (have dificulty in doing) homework , he helps me alot. At school luan is talkative but i like him (not love ) . I hope our friendship is forever
 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (55 điểm)
0 phiếu

Hello everybody,my name is william i am twelve  years old.i'm study in Loc Son secondary school.now i will tell you about my best friend.his name's luan .he was born at eighth of november . He study in class 6a1 in the same school with me . He has short black hair and big eyes when he smile there are many teeth  appear sometimes we are speak english toghether because our favorite subject is english. At the weekend luan and me go to the park to play sports we are play during the day . It is so fun . When i don't know homework he helps me alot. At school luan is talkative but i like him (not love ) i hope our friendship is forever

Here is my suggested sample:

My name is William and I am twelve years old. I am a student at Loc Son secondary school. My best friend is Luan. His birthday is November 8th. He is my classmate. We are at grade 6, and our class is 6A1. Luan has a short black hair with big eyes. When he smiles, he looks so hansome with his white teeth. In free time, we love studying English - our favourite subject at school. We often play sports together in the park at weekend. We have a lot of fun playing there. Luan always helps me with my difficult homework. He is so helpful. Sometimes Luan is talkative but it doesn't make me like him less. I hope our friendship will last forever.

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (7 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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