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Nowaday ,Smartphone is very popular in our life.Thank to smartphone,we have some following benefits:

First of all,Smartphone is used to communication.You can use it to make phone calls,send and receive messages in anywhere.

Moreover,it is also used for entertainment.You can use it to listen to music as well as play games,... service for our entertainment at the same time.

Finally,you can stay in touch it very easy to surf the web,use maps to look for places,start a communication with your friends at any moment.

Beside some benefits,smartphones also have some harms such as:nerve damage,eyesight worse and so on.In conclusion,if you know how to use it right way ,you will have many advantages to do manythings.
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Hi tonhu1901, mình có vài góp ý về bài của bạn, mong sẽ giúp ích được cho bạn. 

Nowaday ,Smartphone is very popular in our life.Thanks to smartphone,we have (there are) some following benefits: First of all,Smartphone is used to communication ( communicate là verb, communication là noun, trong trường hợp này thì sau giới từ to phải là verb).You can use it to make phone calls,send and receive messages in ( to) anywhere. Moreover,it is also used for entertainment.You can use it to ( lặp ý, có thể ...entertainment, such as listening to music, palying games, etc ... )  listen to music as well as play games,... service for our entertainment at the same time. ( câu này tối nghãi và mình chưa hiểu bạn để đây với mục đích gì) . Finally,you can stay( phrase này chính xác là keep in touch, nhưng nghĩa là giữ liên lạc, trong trường hợp của bạn, mình chưa hiểu ý bạn muốn truyền tải là gì) in touch it very easy to surf ( mình nghĩ nên là for surfing...) the web,use maps to look for places,start a communication ( conversation)  with your friends at any moment.
Beside some benefits,smartphones also have some harms such as:nerve damage,eyesight worse and so on.In conclusion,if you know how to use it right way ,you will have many advantages to do manythings. 
 
Theo mình bài này hơi lủng củng, chưa đưa ra được các ý chặt chẽ, người đọc khó theo dõi và khó hiểu thông điệp muốn truyền tải. Bạn có thể tìm đọc nhiều hơn về cách diễn đạt trong văn tiếng Anh, vì đa số ý trong bài viết của bạn được diễn đạt theo kiểu viết tiếng việt rồi dịch ra tiếng anh nên có phần chưa hợp lý. 

 

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First of all,Smartphone is used to communication. -> to communicate 
Moreover => Second,it is also used for entertainment.You can use it to listen to music as well as play games,... service for our entertainment at the same time.
you can stay in touch (2 vế nó chả liên quan và bổ sung gì cho nhau) it very easy to surf the web,use maps to look for places,start a communication with your friends at any moment.
Bài này viết chưa chặt chẽ, đang nói về benefit thì k nên đưa phần cuối vào

 

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