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Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In today's modern world, humans are constantly facing the environmental problems which are becoming more serious than ever. Some people argue that these problems are too large to be addressed by individuals and each country and global governments should be responsible for this. In my opinion,I strongly agree with the view that both of individuals and countries all over the world play an indispensable role in tackling these problems.

On the one hand, individuals can form some good habits to protect their surroundings. For example, they can bring along with them some recycled bags in order to cut down on the number of plastic bags being used every day. As a result, each person is actually contributing to reducing some environmental issues such as soil pollution caused by rubbish.

On the other hand, global governments' responsibilities in solving the environmental problems should be taken into consideration. For example, they are powerful enough to enforce some strict punishments on the emission of waste from factories directly into rivers. Besides, governments are able to launch a campaign to clean polluted inhabits, protect wildlife animals and raise social awareness. As a result, the environment will become much better and governments will definitely set a good example for young generations to follow.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the cooperation between individual and global governments is of great importance to coping with environmental problems.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 3 Tháng 12 trong Chữa đề ielts hàng tuần bởi Lê Hải Nam Anh (12 điểm)
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In today's modern world, humans are constantly facing the environmental problems which are becoming more serious than ever. Some people argue that these problems are too large to be addressed by individuals and each country and global governments should be responsible for this. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the view that both of individuals and countries all over the world play an indispensable role in tackling these problems. 

On the one hand, individuals can form some good habits to protect their surroundings. For example, they can bring along with them (tránh dùng phrasal verbs nhé) use some recycled bags in order to cut down on reduce the number of plastic bags which have been proven to have detrimental impacts on environment being used every day (Mình thấy thêm cụm này không cần thiết). As a result, each person is actually contributing to reducing mitigating some environmental issues such as soil pollution caused by rubbish. (Mình thấy câu này với vế trên đang không liên quan đến nhau, hoặc chưa đủ rõ ràng. Trước đó bạn chỉ nói plastic bags, sau đó lại suy ra rubbish)

On the other hand, global governments' responsibilities in solving the environmental problems should be taken into consideration. (Đã có luận điểm cho câu này đâu mà bạn đã ví dụ?) For example, they are powerful enough to enforce some strict punishments on for the emission of waste from factories directly into rivers. Besides, governments are able to launch a campaign to clean polluted inhabits, protect wildlife animals and raise social awareness (How?). As a result, the environment will become much better and governments will definitely set a good example for young generations to follow. 

In conclusion, it seems to me that the cooperation between individual and global governments is of great importance to coping with environmental problems.

 

Thứ nhất, bài này của bạn nếu thi IELTS là sẽ bị trừ điểm khá nặng vì thiếu từ. Bạn chưa đủ 250 words. 

Thứ hai, có chỗ chưa có luận điểm thì đã có luận cứ, có chỗ có luận điểm nhưng phân tích chưa sâu. Nếu bạn chỉ liệt kê thì bài lập luận chưa vững, và điểm sẽ không cao đâu. 

 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 4 Tháng 12 bởi Nguyễn Thu Trà (43 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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