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Topic: The advantages provided by English as "Global language" will continue outweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the popularity of learning English is spreading all over the world,  not only for the third-world countries but also for the civilized countries. In this essay, the noticeable advantages of this will be brought out in order to prove that it is totally outweighed its disadvantages.

Firstly, being good at English helps us to approach the potential works in the career. The people who have accumulated a good knowledge of English, have many valuable opportunities to travel abroad for the big projects with the higher salary. Deciding to stay here is not a bad choice for them if they achieve the international qualification degree. Therefore, in our country, the employee who is always fluent in English always gets more chances to be promoted to the higher position.

Secondly, English is the prerequisite condition for all of the students who want to embrace the learning purpose in the foreign countries. Each of the scholars has to get at least 5.5 in IELTS if they want to access to high-quality education. In the professional academic environment, not only does our young generation provides the knowledge, but it also learns about the social duty, the community perspective, and mission of protecting the environment. With the studying schedule copyrighted from the confirmed universities, the children will be completely enhanced in both practical side and real life side.

Thirdly, English also plays a core role in traveling and touring. The youth could have more chances to research more about the inner-country cultures along with the traditions and the living styles. Making the new acquaintances is the most concern benefits of practicing English frequently and fulfill.  

In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that English brings back many good benefits than drawbacks. Studying English is considered as great white hope for the developing the country.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 2 Tháng 12 trong Opinion bởi cmintr7 (16 điểm)
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(Bạn nên có một câu topic sentence để thông báo trước cho người đọc nội dung của đoạn văn ở ngay đây nhé, ví dụ như là : On the one hand, there are several undeniable benefits of English as a global language). Firstly, being good at English helps us (với văn academic, bạn nên hạn chế dùng I hoặc we, me, us nhé => people)  to approach the potential works in the career (nên bỏ cả 2 the vì potential works chưa xác định => potential jobs in their career path)  . The people who have accumulated a good knowledge of English, (dấu phẩy này thực sự không cần thiết => bỏ ) have many valuable opportunities to travel abroad for the big projects with the higher salary (salaries) . Deciding to stay here (here là ở đâu hả bạn?) is not a bad choice for them if they achieve the international qualification degree. 

Bạn ơi, bạn hãy góp ý cho các bài viết khác trên website nữa để đủ điểm nhận bài chữa miễn phí nha!

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 6 Tháng 12 bởi Christine Ho (124 điểm)
0 phiếu

 

Nowadays, the popularity of learning English is spreading all over the world,  not only for the third-world countries but also for the civilized countries (không rõ nghĩa). In this essay, the noticeable advantages of this will be brought out in order to prove that ( sử dụng câu dài, không rõ ràng, dẩn đến sai ngữ pháp) it is totally outweighed its disadvantages.

Bạn nên paraphase lại câu statement, và nêu rõ quan điểm I agree or disagree.

Firstly, being good at English helps us to approach the  potential jobs with high salary (the dùng cho trường hợp xác định rõ đối tượng nói, works là từ nói công việc chung, không dùng và potental jobs thì phải rõ ràng ở khía cạnh nào, vd môi trường làm việc, lương etc) works in the career. The people who have accumulated a good knowledge of English, have many (không nên dùng, rất lạ) valuable opportunities to travel abroad for the big projects with the higher salary. Deciding to stay here is not a bad choice for them if they achieve the international qualification degree. Therefore, in our country, the employee who is always (sai ngữ pháp) fluent in English always gets more chances to be promoted to the higher position.

Secondly, English is the prerequisite condition for all of the students who want to countinue learning in foreign countries.  embrace the learning purpose in the foreign countries. (câu diễn đạt rườm rà) .Each of the person scholars (scholar là một người có kiến thức chuyên môn sâu rộng, ko hợp lý) has to get at least 5.5 in IELTS if they want to access to high-quality education. In the professional academic environment, not only does our generation young provides the knowledge(wtf không hiểu được ý bạn ở câu này) but it also learns about the social duty, the community perspective perspective of comunity and mission of protecting the environment (Câu này nội dung chẳng liên quan tẹo nào). With the studying schedule copyrighted from the confirmed universities, the children will be completely enhanced in both practical side and real life side (Yêu cầu khi viết writing là người đọc ở bất kỳ backround đều có thể hiểu ngay và không cần phải suy luận, ở đây mình lại không ý bạn đang viết cái gì lol )

Thirdly, English also plays a core role in traveling and touring (thừa). The youth people (thiếu danh từ)could have more chances to research more about the inner-country cultures along with the traditions and the living styles. Making the new acquaintances is the most concern benefits of practicing English frequently and fulfill.  ( Sai ngữ pháp, có thể bỏ đi vi không cần thiết)

Format của writing task2 nên chia làm 4 đoạn chính, học theo model của các thầy dạy IELTS nổi tiếng như Simon, Ngoc Bach, đặc biệt khi kỹ năng viết của bạn cần phải cải thiện nhiều hơn.

In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that English brings back many good benefits than drawbacks. Studying English is considered as great white hope for the developing the country.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 8 Tháng 12 bởi D.Luffy (39 điểm)
0 phiếu
Chào bạn,

Để cảm ơn cho những bình luận tích cực của bạn trên website trong thời gian qua, chúng mình xin gửi bạn bài chữa cho bài viết này. Bạn có thể download nó tại đây: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/091217-Writing-Task-2-English.docx

Hi vọng rằng bài chữa sẽ giúp bạn nhận ra những điểm tốt và chưa tốt của mình. Mong bạn sẽ tiếp tục góp ý cho các bài viết của các bạn khác trên website

Chúc bạn học tốt!
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 4 ngày cách đây bởi Christine Ho (124 điểm)
0 phiếu
Nowadays, the popularity of learning English is spreading all over the world, not only for the third-world countries but also for the civilized countries. In this essay, the noticeable advantages of this will be brought out in order to prove that it is totally outweighed its disadvantages.

Firstly, being good at English helps us to approach the potential works in the career. The people who have accumulated a good knowledge of English, have many valuable opportunities to travel abroad for the big projects with the higher salary. Deciding to stay here is not a bad choice for them if they achieve the international qualification degree. Therefore, in our country, the employee who is always fluent in English always gets more chances to be promoted to the higher position.

Secondly, English is the prerequisite condition for all of the students who want to embrace the learning purpose in the foreign countries. Each of the scholars has to get at least 5.5 in IELTS if they want to access to high-quality education. In the professional academic environment, not only does our young generation provide the knowledge, but it also learns about the social duty, the community perspective, and mission of protecting the environment. With the studying schedule copyrighted from the confirmed universities, the children will be completely enhanced in both practical side and real life side.

Thirdly, English also plays a core role in traveling and touring. The youth could have more chances to research more about the inner-country cultures along with the traditions and the living styles. Making the new acquaintances is the most concerned benefits of practicing English frequently.  

In conclusion, I completely agree with the statement that English brings back more good benefits than drawbacks. Studying English is considered as great white hope for the developing the country. Nowadays, the popularity of learning English is spreading all over the world,  not only for the third-world countries but also for the civilized countries. In this essay, the noticeable advantages of this will be brought out in order to prove that it is totally outweighed its disadvantages.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 3 ngày cách đây bởi khanhhuyencbl (7 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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