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Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details.

Topic: Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

 
It is commonly considered by many that older students should be provided with a variety of subjects, while others believe that they should concentrate on a few subjects. The essay would analyze both opinions before drawing a logical conclusion.
On one hand, there are some certain grounds supporting the former idea. The main explanation would possibly be that children can explore the world in different aspects when they are given opportunities to learn many different subjects. Specifically, history helps them have an insight into the past of their ancestors, while arts make a contribution to their improvement in feelings and emotions. Furthermore, children might have various options related to tertiary education or career. It is alleged that the vast majority of students do not know exactly which jobs they want to pursue, so learning a broad range of subjects seems to help them know which fields they are interested in and make right decisions for their future.
On the other hand, others advocate the latter idea for some reasons. Firstly, the students' concentration on a small number of subjects assists them in preparing carefully for their future jobs if they can decide which jobs they want to do. Obviously, to become professional in their fields, the youth needs to acquire more expert knowledge, which takes much time and effort. Instead of learning different subjects that are not linked to the jobs, older children should focus on the subjects that are thought to be helpful for them in the future. In addition, children seem to find it uninteresting to learn subjects which they are not excellent at, so learning these subjects does not work effectively.
In conclusion, I would restate that older students should spend more time on the subjects which can potentially help them secure satisfying jobs rather than spending time equally on a wide range of subjects.
 
(308 words)
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 19 Tháng 11 trong Discussion bởi Nguyễn Thu Trà (43 điểm)
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It is commonly considered by many that older students should be provided with a variety of subjects, while others believe that they should concentrate on a few subjects. The essay would analyze both opinions before drawing a logical ( mình nghĩ nên là reasonable : một kết luận hợp lý) conclusion.
On one hand, there are some certain grounds supporting the former idea. The main explanation would possibly be that children ??? đề bài đang nói older students can explore the world in different aspects when they are given opportunities to learn many different subjects. Specifically, history helps them have an insight into the past of their ancestors, while arts make a contribution to their improvement in feelings and emotions. Furthermore, children might have various options related relating to tertiary education or career. It is alleged that the vast majority of students do not know exactly which jobs they want to pursue  persuit, so learning a broad range of subjects seems to help them know which fields they are interested in and make right decisions for their future.
On the other hand, others advocate the latter idea for some reasons. Firstly, the students' concentration on a small number of subjects assists them in preparing carefully for their future jobs if they can decide which jobs they want to do. Obviously, to become professional in their fields, the youth needs to acquire more expert knowledge, which takes much time and effort. Instead of learning different subjects that are not linked to the jobs, older children should focus on the subjects that are thought to be helpful for them in the future. In addition, children seem to find it uninteresting to learn subjects which they are not excellent at, so learning these subjects does not work effectively.
In conclusion, I would restate that older students should spend more time on the subjects which can potentially help them secure satisfying jobs rather than spending time equally on a wide range of subjects.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 21 Tháng 11 bởi duongthihuongly18 (18 điểm)
logical hay reasonable đều được bạn ạ

related chứ k phải relating đâu bạn :)

Còn pursuit bạn gợi ý là danh từ, trong khi đoạn mình viết phải là động từ pursue

Du sao cũng cảm ơn bạn đã đọc bài cho mình
0 phiếu

Chào bạn Thu Trà! wink

Trong thời gian qua bạn đã nhiệt tình góp ý cho các bài viết của các bạn khác trên website chuawritingmienphi.com và chúng mình thật sự rất cảm ơn bạn vì điều này. Chúng mình xin gửi đến bạn bài chữa cho bài viết Task 2 này, hi vọng sẽ giúp cho bạn hiểu rõ những điểm mạnh và điểm yếu của bài viết của mình.  Mong rằng bạn sẽ tiếp tục đưa ra những bình luận tích cực cho bài viết trên website trong tương lai

Bạn có thể tải bài chữa về máy tại đây: http://chuawritingmienphi.com/index.php/6968/children-subjects-acquire-knowledge-people-believe-should-number-subjects-details

Chúc bạn học tốt! 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 24 Tháng 11 bởi Christine Ho (124 điểm)
Bạn ơi, mình vào link không thấy bài sửa đâu.
Thành thật xin lỗi bạn nhé, mình đã gửi nhầm link cho bạn! Link đúng là đây bạn nhé :https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/2017-11-23-1511421025-Topic1.docx

Have a nice day!
Cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều nhé :) Bài chữa của bạn giúp mình rất nhiều

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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