ip.chuawriting
Post bài mới
Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

2,029 Bài viết

2,830 Góp ý

1,918 bình luận

12,907 thành viên

Opinion Parapraph Outline ( em mới tập viết mọi người sửa giúp em với ạ )

In my opinion, I completely think that the Coast Guard should risk their lives to save people.

Firstly, it is to save lives. It is important to save lives to get the people back to their families safe and sound to be a hard time. As far as I know that all but one of the Air National Guard crew members are rescued by the Coast Guard vessel, the USCGC Tamaroa.

Secondly, it is their job. They get paid to rescue people and paid through people paying taxes to the government. In addition, that is a full-time responsibility assigned by the government to the Coast Guard.

Finally, some nautical crew underestimated the situation. Between the Andrea Gali and Gloucester is a confluence of two powerful weather fronts and a hurricane imminent. In a little more detail “The only sign that something is amiss is along the coast, where huge grey swells start to roll in that can be heard miles away”, “ The shroud of the sea” can be viewed as the huge swells that are forming. Instead of, they coming back, everything will be better.

In conclusion, I am sure that the coast guards and crew will be at risk. Although living and work in the open sea can be stressful and risk at first, it is something that proves worth doing after they have been familiar with it. They needed a deeper the profession more to face new challenges that put their faith in the storm.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 15 Tháng 11 trong Other bởi phucgareth39 (0 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

Xin vui lòng đăng nhập hoặc đăng ký để góp ý bài viết này.

1 góp ý

+1 phiếu

In my opinion, I completely think that the Coast Guard should risk their lives to save people.

Firstly, (it is to save lives > Cả câu này ko cần thiết). It is important to save (lives to get the people > people's lives to take them) back to their families safe(bỏ) and (sound > it seems ) to be a hard time. As far as I know (that) (all but > không cần thiết) one of the Air National Guards crew members are rescued by the Coast Guard vessel, the USCGC Tamaroa.

Secondly, it is their job. They get paid to rescue people and paid(bỏ) through people paying taxes to the government. In addition, that is a full-time (responsibility assigned > assignment of responsibilities) by the government to the Coast Guard.

Finally, some nautical crew underestimated the situation. Between the Andrea Gali and Gloucester is a confluence of two powerful weather fronts and a hurricane imminent. In a little more detail “The only sign that (something > bỏ) is amiss is along the coast, where the huge grey swells start to roll in that can be heard miles away”, “ The shroud of the sea” can be viewed as the huge swells that are forming. Instead of, they are coming back, everything will be better.

In conclusion, I am sure that the coast guards and crew will be at risk. Although living and work in the open sea can be stressful and risky  at first, it is something that proves worth doing after they have been familiar with it. They needed a deeper the profession more(đoạn này lủng củng > có thể thay: They may need to gain knowledge in profession) to face new challenges that put their faith in the storm.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 16 Tháng 11 bởi nguyentuannd2104 (12 điểm)
Em cảm ơn ý kiến đóng góp của anh !

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

Tham khảo các bài viết tương tự

...