Topic : All over the world,the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel the main cause of this ? What are the effects ? - Chữa Writing miễn phí
ip.chuawriting
Post bài mới
Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé.

2.2k Bài viết

3.1k Góp ý

2k bình luận

13.7k thành viên

In this day and age, obesity has been responsible for several problematic issues regarding individual appearance and health , which are highly concerned and prioritized by the modern citizens. However, a rapid growth of obesity epidemic has been witnessed recently resulting from various factors which will be analyzed in this essay below ,along with its impact in terms of health risk and societal discrimination.
     The escalating number of obese people mainly comes as a result of unhealthy diet and sedentary lifestyle which are predominant and conventional with the present technological development. Firstly, the preference for fast food over physical exercises which stems from the lessened time for proper self-satisfaction and the personal priority on working is significantly ascribed to the increasing trend of obesity for most parts of the world. Secondly, the familiarity of dealing with job-based problems at a firm position during an excessive amount of time is regarded as a contributory factor to the inactivity of modern citizens,which is the predecessor of being overweight afterward.
     Modern citizens suffer several severe issues brought about by their excessive and uncontrollable weight, mostly on their health and physical appearance. For instance, obesers are usually vulnerable to many serious cardiovascular and metabolic diseases that can diminish their work's productivity and their life expectancy. Additionally, social prejudice against overweightness has a negative impact on the feelings of those with excessive weight, which results in their intentional isolation from the community, their mental disorder of even sometimes their commitment to suicide for the exhaustion of being defamed by body shaming comments and cruel jokes.
    In conclusion, the causes of obesity can be traced back to the harmful diet lacking of proper consideration and sedentary lifestyle. Its noteworthy effects on human health and appearance are being mitigated by the considerable attempts of scientists and specialists.
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi trong advantages,disadvantages bởi (0 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

Xin vui lòng đăng nhập hoặc đăng ký để góp ý bài viết này.

1 góp ý

0 phiếu

Chào bạn Minh Duy 

Chuyên mục chữa bài miễn phí - Tài trợ IELTS PLANET     

Bạn follow bài chữa tại link dưới nhé (Note: để xem bài chữa, bạn đăng ký 1 tài khoản miễn nhé,  và lưu ý thời gian đưa bài lên forum - thời gian chữa bài 1 - 2 ngày:3 )

Link:http://ieltsplanet.info/forums/topic/what-do-you-feel-the-main-cause-of-this-what-are-the-effects/

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (91 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

Tham khảo các bài viết tương tự

...