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Hardly can anyone deny the increasing popularity of residing in big cities in recent years. There is a school of though that settling in mega cities is difficult while others hold an oppsite belief. This essay aims to analyse these 2 viewpoints and provice the underlying explanations for my opinion which is in favour of the former idea.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is argued that residing in major cities is easy, one of which is that the facility is good. To be more specific, the quality of education  grows rapidly, which makes people can approach lated knowledge. As a result, the residents are able to find a good job easily. For instance, students in Ho Chi Minh city which is biggest cities in Viet Nam are good at using computer because they are approached technology from they are 6 years old. In addition, the residents have a lot of opportunities to find a good jod, which makes they improve the quality of life.

On the other hand, I believe that living in mega cities is difficult. First and foremost, the standard of life in big cities is higher than in small cities. In other words, people spend a large amount on many things such as buy foods, refuel. As a consequence, people can not save money and life becomes tough. Furthermore, the environment is more and more polluted owing to the fact taht vehicle is so much on rush hour. Therefore people will suffer from a variety of diseases. To illustrate, in currently the residents in Ho Chi Minh city have to face up with the dirty air which is cause repiratory diseases because there are many means of transportation during peak time.

In conclusion, I advocate that residing in major cities is hardly.
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Hardly can anyone deny the increasing popularity of residing in big cities in recent years. There is a school of though that settling in mega cities is difficult while others hold an oppsite belief. This essay aims to analyse these 2 viewpoints and provice the underlying explanations for my opinion which is in favour of the former idea.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why it is argued that residing in major cities is easy, one of which is that the facility is good. To be more specific, the quality of
education  grows rapidly, which makes people can approach lated knowledge. As a result, the residents are able to find a good job easily. For instance, students in Ho Chi Minh city which is biggest cities in Viet Nam are good at using computer because they are approached technology from they are 6 years old. In addition, the residents have a lot of opportunities to find a good jod, which makes they improve the quality of life.

On the other hand, I believe that living in
mega cities is difficult. First and foremost, the standard of life in big cities is higher than in small cities. In other words, people spend a large amount on many things such as buy foods, refuel. As a consequence, people can not save money and life becomes tough. Furthermore, the environment is more and more polluted owing to the fact taht vehicle is so much on rush hour. Therefore people will suffer from a variety of diseases. To illustrate, in currently the residents in Ho Chi Minh city have to face up with the dirty air which is cause repiratory diseases because there are many means of transportation during peak time.

In conclusion, I advocate that residing in major cities is
hardly.

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Hardly can anyone deny the increasing popularity of residing in big cities in recent years. There is a school of though thought that settling in mega cities is difficult while others hold an oppsite belief. This essay aims to analyse these 2 two viewpoints and provice provide the underlying explanations for my opinion which is in favour of the former idea. (cá nhân mình không nghĩ là bạn nên dùng school of thought lắm)

Đoạn thân bài cực kì không mạch lạc, các ý không liên kết với nhau và bạn sử dụng sai từ rất nhiều.về cơ bản, facility gần như là cơ sở vật chất, nó không liên quan đến việc mọi người học hành tốt hơn nên được tiếp xúc với công nghệ mới. Và facility thì cũng không liên quan đến cơ hội kiếm việc làm như bạn đã nói ở trong bài. 

Some errors in word usage:

- latest, not lated 

- makes people can approach?

- In addition? This word is used to add meaning to the paragraph, not to repeat the meaning you just wrote above

paragraph 2:

- must be the living standard rather than the standard of life

- foods do not have plural

- refueling their vehicles (will be more specific) 

- there are so many vehicles on the road during rush hours.

- illustrated 

Đoạn 2 ý bạn đỡ lủng gủng hơn, nưng 1 lần nữa cách bạn giải thích không logic lắm, dẫn đến việc người đọc không hiểu ý của bạn. Nhưng ở đoạn này, ngữ pháp sai rất nhiều và cấu trúc câu cứ lằng nhằng, đặc biệt ở câu cuối.

Kết bài không nên để cụt lủn như vậy

tốm lại, mình nghĩ bạn nên nâng ban bằng cách chuẩn bị kĩ hơn khi viết, cố không dịch từ tv sang trong qtrinh viết và ktra lại sau khi làm xong

 

 

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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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