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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a common belief that international student exchange programs would bring benefits to all participants. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this projects, I believe that there are outweighed by the advantages.

On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when teenagers go overseas. Firstly, those exchange programs cost a considerable amount of money, which a handful of students may be inaccessible. For example, students who come from developing countries would find difficult to apply student exchange programs in industrial nations because of the financial burden. Secondly, even with preparation and knowledge about the new environment, adolescents could still experience culture shock, which can affect them in different ways. Another potential drawback is health issues that can occur during the stay in a foreign country.

On the other hand, I believe that the benefits are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this notion is that international visitors would have a shinier resume which is valuable for them in the years to come. By working in foreign organizations, they will gain many practical experience that make their profile more competitive. Another reason is that teenagers would have a chance to experience culture exchange. This broaden their mind, and also helps them make new friends for a lifetime. Additionally, after finishing the program, overseas students tend to obtain more opportunities to find good jobs because they have a strong network of friends.

In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of international student exchange programs are more significant than the disadvantages.
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There is a common belief that international student exchange programs would bring benefits to all participants. Despite some obvious disadvantages of this projects, I believe that there they are outweighed by the advantages.

On the one hand, there are several major drawbacks when teenagers go overseas. Firstly, those exchange programs cost a considerable amount of money, which a handful of students may be inaccessible. For example, students who come from developing countries would find it difficult to apply student exchange programs in industrial nations because of the financial burden. Secondly, even with preparation and knowledge about the new environment, adolescents could still experience culture shock, which can affect them in different ways (what ways?). Another potential drawback is health issues that can occur during the stay in a foreign country.

On the other hand, I believe that the benefits advantages are more significant than such disadvantages. One reason for this notion is that international visitors would have a shinier resume which is valuable for them in the years to come. By working in foreign organizations, they will gain many much practical experience that make their profile more competitive. Another reason is that teenagers would have a chance to experience culture exchange. This broadens their mind, and also helps them make new friends for a lifetime. Additionally, after finishing the programs, overseas students tend to obtain more opportunities to find good jobs because they have a strong network of friends.

In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of international student exchange programs are more significant than the disadvantages.

Thứ nhất, cái đoạn mình sửa benefits thành advantages là vì advantages và disadvantages là hai từ dùng để so với nhau, bạn có thể thay benefits thành advantages lúc nào cũng được, nhưng khi trong câu bạn định so sánh với từ disadvantages thì nên sử dụng advantages. Giống như khi bạn dùng từ merits với demerits cũng thế.

Thứ hai, mình thấy có một vài ý bạn đưa ra nhưng không có phân tích thêm, như vậy thì nó không "strong". Mỗi đoạn thực tế chỉ cần hai ý, nhưng phân tích sâu thì sẽ ăn điểm hơn bạn ạ :D 

 

Mong bạn cũng góp ý bài của mình:

http://chuawritingmienphi.com/index.php/6790/ielts-countries-parents-expect-their-children-spend-studying-after-school-free-time

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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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