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Bài IELTS task 2 about Crime

Topic: Without capital punishment, our lives are less secure and crimes or violence increase. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As a matter of fact, it is have many serious crime in our life. A number of peoples suppose that should have capital punishment to hamper crimes and violence. In my opinion, I'm not agree with this. Becase it's too cruel and maybe we''ll have solutions more good

I agree that punishment is a way to avoid the rate of offender to be increase and secure safety of our life. However, with some peoples, they thinks it's too ruthless. Because we are human who have mind and emotion.. We lives to give mutual the love, so, this solution look like we are the beasts haven't humanity. And have you ever thought the reason why he or she choose the wrong way? Cause all of us have personal problem: financial, family... that led them become a offender. Therefore, we should have new solutions is better to help them comback comeback to be a  good citizen.

How do you think about when a prisoner to be a good man? That's great, right? So, if they  want to be a good man and it is true, we should forgive them , judge them a opportunity to change and try to solve their problem they have with their effort and social endorsement. The police should be well-trained and bravery to secure the safe social. The goverment should make a deterrent against any ideas of committing crimes by laws should be implemented and executed in the most way that do not let the criminal a chance to heinous actions. Especially, education need to be strengthen to heighten people's intellect. It's a good way to develop the humanity.

In conclusion, I belived that we are always have the good way to solve the illegality more safety than capital punishment . Thank to it, we can build a civilized society and safe to live

(304 words)

bao nhiêu điểm ạ?
Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi 20 Tháng 6, 2017 trong Opinion bởi KimChi2107 (0 điểm)
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2 góp ý

0 phiếu

As a matter of fact, it has much serious crime in our life. A number of people believe that crimes and violence could be prevented by heavy punishment. In my opinion, I do not agree with this. Because it's too cruel and maybe we'll have solutions better.

I agree that punishment is a way to avoid the rate of the offender to be increase and secure safety of our life. However, with some peoples, they think it's too ruthless. Because we are the human who has mind and emotion. We live to give mutual the love, so, this solution looks like we are the beasts haven't humanity. And have you ever thought the reason why he or she choose the wrong way? Cause all of us have the personal problem: financial, family... that led them to become an offender. Therefore, we should have new solutions is better to help them come back to be a  good citizen.

How do you think about when a prisoner to be a good man? That's great, right? So, if they want to be a good man and it is true, we should forgive them, judge them an opportunity to change and try to solve their problem they have with their effort and social endorsement. The police should be well-trained and bravery to secure the safe social. The government should make a deterrent against any ideas of committing crimes by-laws should be implemented and executed in the most way that does not let the criminal a chance to heinous actions. Especially, education needs to be strengthened to heighten people's intellect. It's a good way to develop the humanity.

In conclusion, I believe that we always have the good way to solve the illegality more safety than capital punishment. Thank it, we can build a civilized society and safe to live

Too many mistakes and incorrect grammar can be found, seem like band 4-5

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 21 Tháng 6, 2017 bởi Darren Mai (10 điểm)

Thank you very much <3 I'll try

yes

0 phiếu

As a matter of fact, there are many serious crimes in our life. A number of people believe that crimes and violence must be terminated by death sentence. In my opinion, I do not agree with this because it is over vindictive and perhaps we will obtain enhanced solutions.

I agree that punishment is the way to avoid the rate of the offenders and it addionally increases and defends our shelter life. However, some people think it is excessively ruthless because we are human who possess advanced mind and diverse emotional states. We live for giving love to global community as well, meanwhile capital punishment causes us seem to be monsters which are inhumanity. Have you ever thought of the reason for criminal's wrong decisions? All of us have been cope with the personal routine problems: individual expenses, dosmestic dissidences...which might lead us to be guilty. Therefore, we should find several other ameliorated solutions to help that crimes return home and turn into be normal citizen.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý 2 Tháng 7, 2017 bởi amydo182 (4 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)
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