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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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Money plays an neccessary part in our lives. In some aspects, it’s the most important thing in our life.

Without money people can not buy their clothes, food and all other neccessary things to comfort our life. We require money for traveling, or buying medicine when we are sick and also to paying other services. In truth, money is almost indispensable  to our survival. Most of people’s activities are therefore directed towards making as much money as possible. Lack of money also causes many great hardship and sorrow in many families. Thousands of people are dying everyday over the world because they cannot buy nutritious food or because they’re not able to pay their doctors fee. We can say that money is very important in human affairs.

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Money plays a neccessary part in our lives. In some aspects, it’s the most important thing in our life.

Without money people can not buy their clothes, food and all other neccessary things to comfort our life. We require money for traveling, or buying medicine when we are sick and also to for paying other services. In truth, money is almost indispensable to our survival. Most of people’s human activities are therefore directed towards making as much money as possible. Lack of money also causes many much great hardship and sorrow in many families. Thousands of people are dying everyday all over the world because they cannot buy nutritious food or because they’re not able to pay their doctors fee. We can say that money is very important in human affairs.

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Money plays an => a neccessary part in our lives. In some aspects,=> to some extent.  it’s => it is the most important thing in our life.

Without money people can not => cannot buy their clothes, food and all other neccessary things to comfort our life.=> other necessities We require money for traveling, or buying medicine when we are sick and also to paying => to pay other services. In truth, money is almost indispensable  to our survival. Most of => most people’s activities are therefore directed towards making as much money as possible. Lack of money also causes many great hardship and sorrow in many families. Thousands of people are dying everyday over the world because they cannot buy nutritious food or because they're => they are not able to pay their doctors fee.=> medical expenses.  We can say that money is very important in human affairs.

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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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