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 The charts provide information about the amount of energy produced by five important sources in America over the course of 10 years, beginning in 1980.


Looking at the charts, it is immediately obvious that there was relatively little change in the proportions of the other fuels used to generate energy from 1980 to 1990, except for hydro. It is also noticed that Coal was the main source in both years.

In 1980, 42% of energy production came from oil and the figure decreased to 25% in ten years latter. By contrast, the proportion of natural gas used as a source for manufacturing energy, which remained almost stable at 26% in 1980, with 25% in 1990. However, coal experienced a slight decrease from 22% in 1980 to 27% in 1990, which overtook the rate of natural gas.

On the other hand, the amount of hydroelectric power remained constantly at 5% of the total in both years, which was its lowest point during the whole pie charts. Finally, in 1990, the nuclear power went up by 5% from the 1980 figure of 5%.

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- It is also noticed that Coal was the main source in both years. ( Coal -> Oil )

- In 1980, 42% of energy production came from oil and the figure decreased to 25% in ten years latter ( in ten years latter -> ten years later/ in ten years 

- On the other hand, the amount of hydroelectric power remained constantly at 5% of the total in both years ( constantly -> constant

 

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Bạn viết của bạn sau khi được góp ý rất là ok. Mình mới tập viết IELTS nên bạn có thể cho minh tham khảo bài của bạn đc ko????

Cảm ơn bạn nhiều!!!!!

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Looking at the charts, it is immediately obvious that there was relatively little change in the proportions of the other fuels used to generate energy the energy production experienced a slight change in almost sources from 1980 to 1990, apart from hydroelectric powerexcept for hydro. It is also noticed(noticeable) that Coal oil (cái này là oil không phải coal, bạn chú ý nhé) was the main source accounted for the vast mojority of the total amount of energy generated in both years. 

Hoặc theo mình bạn nên viết overview : 2 cái lớn nhất của 2 biểu đồ là oil và natural gas + 1 cái nhỏ nhất là : hydro


In 1980, around 42% of energy production came from oil and the this figure decreased significantly to 25% in ten years latter later. By contrast, the proportion of natural gas,which used as a source for manufacturing energy(phần này mình không chắc nhưng nếu là mình thì sẽ thay là producing hoặc generating) hoặc có thể ghi ngắn gọn hơn là as a source of power (energy), which ,remained almost stable at about 26% in 1980, with 25% in 1990 26% and 25% during the period shown. However, the amount of energy produced from coal, which decrease rise from 22% in 1980 to 27% in 1990 by 5% at the end of the period, overtook that from natural gas.

Bạn có thể để phần coal xuống body 2 cũng được 


 



 

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Sửa bài rất có tâm. Excellent

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