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Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 từ IELTS Planet - Học IELTS Online.
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IELTS Task 1 - Pie chart

The charts show the Australien school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts give information about what Australien students did instantly when they graduated.

We can see from the charts that the percentage of "unemployed" was by the lowest during the research period. Additionally, the figures of "employed" both increased, whereas there was a fall in the number of "futher education".

It is evident that students in Australien persuading their education accounted for a significant proportion at half. The fractions of "futher education", however, declined rapidly to an impressive 38% share in 1990. Over the next 10-year, the percentage remained stable at 38%. In stark contrast, Australien school leavers who were employed made up a mere two-fifths in 1980. Then, over the course of twenty-years starting from 1980, the number rose steadily from 40% to 55%.

Turning "unemployment", the figure experienced changes between 1980 and 2000. Making up a small minority at 10% in 1980, which lower than in ten years later (12%). Be that as it may, the amount of it arrived at the lowest point of 8% in 2000.

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 - Additionally, the figures of "employed" both increased, whereas there was a fall in the number of "futher education". ( of -> for )

- The fractions of "futher education", however, declined rapidly to an impressive 38% share in 1990.

-> . However , the fractions of "futher education" declined rapidly to an impressive 38% share in 1990.  

The fractions of "futher education"; however, declined rapidly to an impressive 38% share in 1990.

- Then, over the course of twenty-years starting from 1980, the number rose steadily from 40% to 55% ( twenty-years -> twenty-year)

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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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