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Mobile telephones have brought many benefits but they have also had negative effects.

Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

 

Nowadays, the development of mobile telephones gives people many advantages. However, there are a lot of disadvantages brought when people use mobile phones. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view and then give my opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, there are several positive effects on using mobile phones. Firstly, the cutting-edge technology like mobile phones can offer opportunities for people to be better educated. This is because that people are able to study online subjects on websites in their domestic or another country. Besides, documents can be found easily through the mobile phone connected the Internet. Secondly, some functions on mobile phones can assist people to relax. People can listen to music or watch videos whenever they desire.

On the other hand, this idea has a few fundamental drawbacks. One problem is that the concentration can be decreased. For example, the person who is working or studying cannot focus on what he is doing if his phone bell ring many times. Another issue is that having mobile phones can make people lonelier. This is due to that most people contact with each other through their phone. Hence, the face-to-face communication is not usually used. In addition to this, many children and teenagers who are addicted game online stay at their home regularly instead of meeting or going out with their friends.

In conclusion, having mobile phones does not only bring convenience but also negative influences. Overall, I believe that there is a balance in benefits and drawbacks when people use mobile phones.

263 words

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đã hỏi trong advantages,disadvantages bởi (0 điểm)
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mình nghĩ bài viết của bạn hay, mình góp ý thêm

1.In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view  =>This essay is going to examine this question from both points of view 

2.there are several positive effects on using mobile phones => of

3. cutting-edge technology like mobile phones => such as

4. the person => a  

5.instead of meeting or going out with their friends.=> instead of meeting or going out with their friends, which are good for your health and your relationship

6.Overall, I believe that there is a balance in benefits and drawbacks when people use mobile phones.=> In my opinion/ point of view 

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (31 điểm)
0 phiếu

I think you should make your essay more academic by using more academic words. For example,

gives people many advantages -> gives people numerous advantages

there are a lot of disadvantages -> there is a vast array of disadvantages 

There are many simple sentences, which I think you should re-write by using more complex sentences. For example,

Another issue is that having mobile phones can make people lonelier. This is due to that most people contact with each other through their phone. -> Another issue is that having mobile phones can make people lonelier due to the fact that an increasing number of people have a tendency to contact with each other through their phone.

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đã góp ý bởi (1 điểm)

Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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