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Some people said that men and women have different qualities, that men are suitable for certain jobs, women more suitable for others. Do you agree/disagree?

A debated topic in society is the equality between two genders. While some people think that male and female can choose the same jobs, I believe that the natural differences make male and female more suitable for particular occupations.

On the one hand, there are many jobs in which the performances of both genders are the same. The performance in office jobs is based on qualifications and set of skills that an employee has but not on genders. Therefore, if a male and a female have the equally academic and practical background, he/she could do the office jobs as well as the other. For example, anybody who has the knowledge in accounting could be successful in this career path regardless of their gender.

On the other hand, I believe men are more suitable for some types of jobs other than women and vice versa. The reason is that male is naturally stronger than women. Normally, a man has larger and stronger muscles and the ability to react faster than a woman does. Therefore, men could do jobs, for instance, driving, mining and blacksmithing, which require physical strength better than women. However, as women are usually more careful and more patient than men, some tasks such as cleaning or sewing could be done better by a female.

In conclusion, I believe that while certain jobs could be done well by both genders, some jobs are more appropriate for one gender.
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My first opinion is that the way you made those sentences is not really decent. Paraphrasing is a difficult but terrific skill that requires a lot of efforts. I firmly believe the more you practice, the better you are in the near future. So keep doing it day after day and you will see the positive results.

Going back to the content of your essay, I suppose that the supporting factors for your second idea are not good, easily leading to arguments later on. Instead of writing "the reason is that men are stronger than women", you should write "physical differences between men and women could be considered a strong reason for my argument".....Hmm but actually, women can do anything as men do. So when choosing any factor to bolster your ideas, you rather consider them carefully from different perspectives than just desperately write them down.
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Tips: Thành viên với 10 points trở lên sẽ được sửa bài bởi Team Writing 7.5 :)
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

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