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The issue of whether or not technology has negatively affected children's creativity attracts much concern from the public. Some people hold that thanks to technology, many children are given a better chance to develop their imagination. Others may argue that children are too dependent on techonolgy, so their creativity are more and more limited. However, in my opinion, I find myself in agreement with the latter idea . My stance can be substantiated through the following reasons.

 

To begin with, thanks to the advancement of technology, young people regard to technology as an useful tool to sharpen their creativity. In fact, they can easily get access to the Internet in a short amount of time and create new things instantly. This could not be done if they lived fifty years ago. For example, many young people enjoy creating new apps for Iphones. Some of those apps surprisingly turn out to be very useful for every day, such as apps that help you keep track of your financial issue. These kinds of apps are products of the combination between creativity and technology.

 

Moreover, contrary to limiting children's creativity, technology turns out to be a great source of support for children to be creative by having tremendous programs or apps online that can boost children's thrust for creating something new.  In recent research conducted by John Hopkins university,children from age five to ten who have early access to technology are shown to develop their imagination and creativity stronger than those who do not. The main reason given by the professors from John Hopkins is that due to lack of development of technology, young people often found themselves limited in their capability to pursue their creativity.

 

Admittedly,some children appear to greatly depend on technology that they will limit their creativity. In fact, because children are living in a modern world with full convenience,they may assume that the need for creativity will be lessened. However, as technology is changing every minute and require people to be creative in everyday’s activity, children, instead, will be pushed to enlarge their creativity. In one movie called “Bring it on”, the main character, who is a high school cheerleaders, learns to create new moves for her team by utilizing the Internet to search for new inspiration for her dancemoves. In the end, she and her team are the winner of the cheerleading competition thanks to the moves which she created.

 

In conclusion, it is sagacious to support that technology is making children more creative than they were in the past.

 
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Hi, it’s a pleasure to read your essay, my friend. I’m kinda impressed by your English proficiency.
As for mistakes, I think there are only a few small confusing points:

-       “so their creativity are [is] more and more limited” 

-       To begin with, thanks to the advancement of technology, young people regard to technology as an [a] useful tool to sharpen their creativity. In fact, they can easily get access to the Internet in a short amount of time and create new things [this is a little vague. It would be better if the “things” here is regarded as a specific object or idea] instantly. This could not be done if they lived fifty years ago. For example, many young people enjoy creating new apps for Iphones. Some of those apps surprisingly turn out to be very useful for every day [‘for everyday life’, I suppose], such as apps that help you keep track of your financial issue. These kinds of apps are products of the combination between creativity and technology.

-       (…)  In recent research conducted by John Hopkins university [wow, impressive!] ,children from age five to ten (…)

-       (…) In one movie called “Bring it on”, [impressive! again] the main character, who is a high school cheerleader[s], learns to create new moves for her team by utilizing the Internet to search for new inspiration for her dancemoves. In the end, she and her team are the winner of the cheerleading competition thanks to the moves which she created.

-       Your conclusion should be longer.


You can check this for more topics to write: http://lamchuielts.com/index.php/category/de-thi-ielts/

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